Grover On Marriage

Planning this wedding started off fun and exciting...but I admit.... I've hit a wall. I'm overwhelmed by the decisions and the seemingly vast number of tasks ahead of us and the very limited amount of free time we both have.  The problem is that there seems to be an endless to do list with each and every decision requiring careful thought, discussion, planning, meetings and hours of back and forth conversation. I find myself starting one task (DJs!), getting overwhelmed and moving on to a different one (HONEYMOON!) and then a different one (INVITATIONS!). It's easy to get lost in what it all means...and I'm trying to constantly remind myself that the important part is that we're getting married and that all the people we love most will be in one place cheering us on ( would it be tacky to give everyone foam #1 hands to sport during the ceremony?)...and that is awesome.

Well that sounds nice....I'll sign on for that!. :)

I feel bad...but not bad enough not to press "publish post".

Friends, Internets, Strangers....I'd like to tell you a story about my friend....hmmmm what shall we call him to maintain his anonymity....ah well...fuck it...it's Linus. That's his real name. (Hi Linus!).

Just a few months after I moved to LA (six years ago) I got a panicked phone call from Linus telling me he needed me to take him to the hospital because he was REALLY sick. I immediately hopped in my car and rushed out to the west side not knowing the lay of the land or where ANY hospitals were. At the time Linus was attending a certain southern california film school (anonymity!) and was on a student health plan which required him to use a specific hospital. I asked him what hospital, but he didn't know...so I tried calling his mother or sister...or the nurse associated with the school's health plan...all while driving around Los Angeles in the dark, a strange part of a new city while Linus moaned and whined in the passenger seat. Finally we decided to just go back to his apartment...where I made him some Airborne....as it fizzed Linus whined about why it was so bubbly and fizzy and how he couldn't drink it and how it tasted bad. I made him soup...and as he took a sip he gagged dramatically and spit it back in the bowl...I thought maybe he was about to yak....but no....the soup was just too hot. Poor little bunny.

It should known that Linus didn't have the bird flu (that was all the rage at the time) or an appendicitis....so don't think me cruel...sure he was sick, but...well...c'mon. He was "man sick".

So...I came across this little gem of a clip on dooce.com....(read her entry about her husband's vasectomy. so funny.) and could not restrain myself from writing this post....sorry Linus....I told you! I COULDN'T resist. I tried...but I COULDN'T.

Giving the Platypus a run for it's money....

I swear to god this is a real animal.

Internet, this is the Mexican Neotenic Mole Salamander.

Mexican Neotenic Mole Salamander, this is the Internet.

Dream Crusher.

Me: "I'm gonna be a lady bug for halloween...and wear a red tutu."

Chris: "Ladybugs don't have red tutus"

well. duh.

Coworkers say the darndest things.

Today is basically Friday for me....we leave for a wedding in Austin tomorrow at super early o'clock and won't be back til Monday...so that's pretty cool. I love Austin. Last time I was in Austin we drank for free for hours because the bar was giving away free Coors Light. Gee! Thanks!!! I'll take two!

Anyhoodle....the point is...I've been a bit out of it lately what with all the busy-ness and lots of "to do" lists swirling around in my head for work, wedding and life....so one might say I've been a little scatterbrained lately...or at least I feel like it.

(Get to the point, Jess.)

Ahem...

My normal morning routine consists of some basic makeup application. Nuthin fancy....some Bare Minerals foundation to even out my complexion, some eye shadow and some mascara to darken my blonde eye lashes....occasionally I forgo the mascara if I'm feeling lazy and only wear foundation. Despite me thinking I look like I'm 12 years old without eye makeup on I get the occasional compliment that I look "refreshed" or "fresh faced". Well gee. Thanks! Awesome! This morning, however, I forgot and unintentionally skipped my light spattering of powdered foundation and just put on a little bit of mascara and eyeshadow. Fantastic. Left the house feeling normal. 

This is going somewhere I swear....

I'd been at work for over an hour, having spoken to no one yet, when my producing partner walks in and starts telling me a story...so I turn to face her...at which point she stops mid sentence and, in horror, says "ohmygod! did you get a black eye??!?!?!?!!?" 

I'm so put off by her reaction that I get all self conscious and head straight to the bathroom thinking that I must have applied my gray/blue eyeshadow like a 3 year old and it's all over my face. But I look in the mirror and see... just my regular old face. Then i realize that what had her gasping in horror is MY FACE!!! MY REGULAR OLD FACE!!!  This is JUST HOW I LOOK!!!! I have my grandfather's dark undereye circles compounded with the fact that I didn't fall asleep til 3am this morning and forgot to put on makeup. 

So the point of this post is...I'm sorry Chris. I'm sorry that people think you beat me when I forget to put on makeup. When I asked you this morning if you'd still love me even if I was horribly ugly I didn't realize that you had already proved it by waking up to this face every morning. Here's to the next 80 years...

sigh.

Let the countdown begin....

I swear I have a handful of unfinished posts sitting in draft form on the ol blogster that I have simply not had the energy to finish...but it's not that I haven't been thinking about blogging...things have just been too hectic. 

The unfortunate part of blogging in a public forum is that there are some things that I just don't feel right posting about...just in case the wrong person or people should stumble upon this humble bloggity. That said I've undertaken a project that has kept me busy 5-6 days/nights out of the week in addition to working full time and in addition to planning our wedding which now is 9/10 months away (depending on how you look at it... in my mind October is basically over...what? it's only the 9th? yea. it'll be over soon.). 

I seriously can't believe how it is sneaking up on us. We've been working on our save the dates for what seem like MONTHS now and are hopefully finally ready to get those printed and going. I love them. Like, hard. And I'm not just saying that because they are my brain child and not something generic we just bought off the internet, but that is part of it. :)

As of now I've been able to check off a few pretty big items off the to do lists. We've secured the location (which means that the caterer and booze situation is already taken c

are of) , deposits have been put down for our officiant and our photographer (the awesome and oh so talented Sarah Yates). ALSO....the dress. The dress has been chosen, ordered and partly paid for. Yay! After such an arduous search, I have some slight nerves that in six months I'll put on the dress and feel totally different about it...but I think that's probably normal so I'm going to squash those anxieties deep deep down and not think about that for another five months...in the meantime every time I swoon over a dress online I have to tell myself that it costs a million dollars and would look horrible on me. That seems to be working so far.

Now all that stands in my way of checking off everything on my 12 months + list is Chris completing one task. (That's right mister. I called you out on the interwebs.) 

Oh lists. How I love you. Even if your only purpose is to be ignored.

You didn't ask...but I'll tell you.

Whoever said shopping for a wedding dress is fun clearly has never gone shopping with me. 

At this point I would have to say I've tried on about 70 dresses....At a recent appointment I asked the consultant how many dresses most girls try on. She said "maybe 10-15"...and my only response was "at a time?" I thought for sure she must be joking....10 dresses before you find THE dress? THE dress that makes you feel like the best version of yourself? THE dress that will knock your just about to be husband's socks off as you walk down the aisle? I asked Lil Meg over the weekend how many she tried on....6-10 she said. WHAAAAAAA????? There must be something wrong with me. I asked her this during one of the most frustrating shopping trips. 

Up until this point all the consultants had been completely over the top helpful...even if they were off base or misguided, but as we headed to one store I had the displeasure of being "helped" by someone who as I gave her a rundown of my likes and dislikes stared at me as though I had just told her that I would be wearing a white bikini, lucite platform heels and a boa constrictor down the aisle...and I wanted her help picking just the right boa constrictor to compliment the flashing lights in the heels. She could not have been more confused and after saying at least four times to both me, my family and other consultants "i'm stumped. i have no idea what to pull" ultimately an hour later basically just said. "ok. thanks. we're done. bye". I left feeling pretty frustrated. 

At this point.....where do we stand? Well I'm glad you asked....because while I've finally had some success.....I've now reached a stand still. Over the weekend I tried on three dresses that I love. But which one is the dress?...how do you know? People say you just know....but HOW do you know??????? What if there is another dress out there?....a better dress....THE dress. You go into these stores and try on dresses that don't fit....they roll the fabric up in the back with pins and clips and tell you "it'll look like this...this isn't the color it will be...it'll fit here...we can have the seamstress do this and this and this....." and how do women make this decision????? While in one of the stores another girl who was trying on dresses mentioned she had tried on over 100 dresses....but ultimately we were there when she chose THE dress....she made a decision....and while that dress looked wonderful on her....i would have bet there were other dresses that looked amazing on her too...so HOW!!!!! I am dying to just ask my bridesmaids and mom which one I should go for....but ultimately it's my decision and they are wonderful enough to hold there tongues about their preference until I ask....but maybe that's the test...maybe when someone says "i like THIS one better.....and my gut goes "noooo you should have said the OTHER one!"....then I'LL know which one I like......or maybe I just need to try on more dresses.....when does it stop???? 

NOTE: does this post make me seem neurotic and crazy? like maybe I'm over thinking this just a weeeee bit too much? oh...it does? well, yea....welcome to what chris gets to have for the next 80 years. tell him congratulations. :)