Bloggity Blogster

7 years (and 9 months)

2011-06-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

7 years ago (yesterday)....chris and I decided to stop pussy footing around the issue and declare that yes...we were indeed....."dating" (we'd already been dating for about 9 months). eek! Two years ago (yesterday) he asked me to marry him.......and a year ago (yesterday) we were just a month and half away from getting married. We celebrated by pulling some carrots from our {organic} garden, opening up a bottle of Syrah I gave him as a gift for this same occasion last year and roasting a rack of lamb with cous cous and sauteed carrots (in butter and brown sugar of course). Finished the whole thing off with some carmelized peaches and vanilla bean ice cream. Nom!

The only picture I have of the occasion is this:

of our first harvest......

....because when I'm spending an awesome night drinking wine with the man I love...I forget to take pictures. :)

As a side note: I totally burned my fingers on spattered caramel. It hurts. War wounds.

Because homemade is always better.

2011-05-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Sunday is the only day both Chris and I don't have to work- usually (as I write this he is actually at work today....Sunday...on Memorial Day weekend....ugh...go figure) and I look forward to this day every week. Sundays used to be about pancakes around this house.....and we've become masters of a delicious blueberry pancake (I'm on blueberry duty.). But for the past few months Sundays have been all about waffles. The quest for the perfect rich buttermilk waffle. Crisp on the outside, fluffy and light on the inside...we're really almost there...the last few Sunday have been phenomenal on the waffle front. This week, I got it in my brain though that the perfect accompaniment to homemade waffles would be homemade butter....and the product of homemade butter is buttermilk which can then be used in the waffles! Genius!

So this morning.....I made butter. Oh....what's that? You'd like to know how??? OK! I'll tell you!

Step 1: Heavy cream goes into fancy food processor that you got as a wedding present and that your husband insists you didn't want but he convinced you and oh now look who loves it! (phffffttt...)

Step 2: Turn fancy food processor on and let the cream go from liquid to beautiful whipped cream and then into the phase where it starts to break apart and separate from the liquid....all while your husband stands over your shoulder going "ooooh look! it's changing!". He's cute, that one. :)

Step 3: The liquid that separates is buttermilk. Pour it out pressing the butter with a spatula to get even more liquid out. Save that delicious buttermilk for the waffles you'll make....you're going to make waffles aren't you???? (sidenote: like my manicure? It's called "booty camp" cuz it's pink camouflage. I'm so hardcore.)

Step 4 (sorry...no picture...I was busy doing step 4): rinse the butter with very cold water....drain off the liquid and wash again until the water is no longer cloudy.

Step 5: Mix a few pinches of salt (even if normally you use unsalted butter) into the butter and place in small bowl pressing out air bubbles with spatula. And BOOM! Fresh creamery buttah...is there anything bettah? (british accent necessary). Seriously....this butter is amazing.....I know it sounds stupid to describe it this way...but it was just so....so....buttery!

Step 6: Make waffles (slather with fresh butter), turkey bacon and french press coffee.....and watch Meet The Press (followed by discussions about the ridiculous idea of Sarah Palin running for President and medicare with husband). And that's our Sunday morning.

Indy says "they know I love the waffles and the bacons...but they never offer me any."

He's so abused.

The Little Things

2011-05-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just need to be reminded about how many amazing moments there are to be found in life.

I just discovered this blog......and you should spend some time there. Especially if you're having a rough day. I could keep posting, but these are a few that I love.

I would add:

* Hearing "I love you" first.

and

* When a little kid runs across the room in excitement to hug you.

Anguilla: Day Two.

2011-03-17T11:29:00.001-07:00

So I get home from work this morning and walk back in after doing a little yardwork and I see this guy RUNNING up our yard, trampling our new grass and displacing our walkway rocks. I am displeased already. Then the doorbell rings. "W.T.F" runs through my brain. (and Indy's....although his thoughts manifest as just a cocking of his head). I open the door thinking that maybe this guy is panicked about a lost child or worse....lost dog (just kidding. settle down.). He's standing at the bottom of our steps and blurts out quickly "HI! I SELL WHOLESALE STEAK AND SEAFOOD! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I GOT!". Just as he's about to run away to what I assume is to get whatever he's got to show me I say "I'm not interested" and he pauses as though that's a surprise to him. "oh. You're not? Ok. Thanks" and he RUNS away. So I close the door....and assume he went next door to yell at someone else about his fish. Not 60 seconds later I see him RUN. FULL SPRINT. down the street back to his truck that is labeled with black stick on letters "wholesale steak". Then he PEELS OUT down the street at speeds not appropriate for a residential setting.

And that was Anguilla Day Two. Blogging is fun.

I'm back.

2011-03-11T13:07:00.001-08:00

Consider this one single post as my way of saying....keep checking back. I think I'm going to start back into this blogging thing after almost a year hiatus. Wow. It's been quite a year.

Anguilla- Day One.

2010-06-22T10:11:00.001-07:00

Really? April 21st? THAT'S the last time I posted? GAH!!!! All these responsibilities and THINGS to do are really sucking me into a black hole of.......................................................................

So rather than go into detail about all the stuff that is going on right now (ie. 39 days until zee weddin!!!!! ) I think I should finish the train of thought I started back in April and finish the Anguillan vacation talk.

So...where were we? Oh! Yes! The first whole day. So we arrived Wed. night, had that awesome dinner and woke up Thursday to find a gorgeous beach waiting for us. So we did a little of this:

......and it was nice.

We took a little stroll down the beach to Gwen's for some awesome BBQ and rum punches (except I had beer cuz of the stupid possibility of food coloring in the rum punch...stupid allergy....but the beer was still pretty good). There were lots of photos taken in front of what basically looked like the screen saver photos for a Mac.

after lunch we headed back to the hotel to get ready for what turned out to be quite the night of partying. just wait....it gets awesome.....

so.....we headed to the other side of the island to the Viceroy hotel to watch what was supposed to be an amazing sunset.....but the overcast night had another plan. Still, the hotel was AMAZING. The drinks at the bar fresh and delicious and the company fantastic.

and by company I mean...."hey! look at the crab!"

"I'm going to get a photo with the crab!!"

"Damn. Too close".

"Shoot! Stupid thumbs up is blocking the crab!!"

"Theeeeere we go!!!"

While at the Viceroy we made friends with our bartender/waiters and they kept asking "are you going to the Pumphouse?" (sidenote: i have no idea if that is one word or not).....apparently anyone who is anyone was going to the pumphouse. So.....naturally.....we headed to "The Pumphouse". Now.....the pumphouse, turns out, WAS the place to be for tourists and locals alike. A band played steel drum island versions of tunes like Taylor Swift's "You belong to me" and everyone was dancing up a storm. Including me.....with my new best friend....

Then there was the ill conceived round of Jager shots.....

Always seems like a GREAT idea at the time.....

Okay...I guess even at the time it seemed like a bad idea....

Needless to say the night went a little like this:

A local dog found it's way to the bar....he was clearly starving and all skin and bones....so we started feeding him pieces of pizza.....

He liked it.......A LOT......see?

And that pretty much puts a cap on the end of our first full day in Anguilla. Just wait for the next day in which everyone is hungover and goes on a BOAT! Hilarity ensues.....

Travel Day One- Tropical Island of Splendor.

2010-04-21T17:12:00.001-07:00

Aaaaaaand we're back. (Ok. we've been back for a while, but life is crazy busy and you're just now getting an update. deal. mmkay? thnx.)

I feel even more exhausted now that we're back than I did before we left! Let's just say that Anguilla is a long way to go for three full days. I'm not complaining...it was absolutely worth it....but seriously....traveling to the Caribbean from the west coast is no easy feat. After a long day at work, we left the house Tuesday night at 8pm to make it to LAX for our 10:20pm red eye flight to Philly. After a 3.5 hour layover in Philly we boarded another four hour flight to St. Maarten where we went through customs and hopped on a ferry to Anguilla where we went through customs again. Then we hopped in a cab that took us across the island to our hotel....where we arrived at 3pm the next day. Aaaaand scene.

After arriving at our hotel with THIS VIEW:

(yes. i took that photo. from our balcony. it's not from the brochure or anything)

We showered and headed down to the bar for some drinks and mingling. Then on to an amazing gourmet dinner at Veya where I proceeded to stuff my face with the best johnny cakes and red snapper you've ever tasted...not to mention the vanilla duck that tasted like french toast. Seriously, like FRENCH. TOAST. in...a good way. I neglected to take any food porn photos so forgive me. you'll have to trust that it was awesome.

(at the rehearsal...we look a bit tired, no?)

And that...concludes our day of traveling.

Anguilla Bound

2010-04-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

As the hours tick away til we're beach bound there's lots of little last minute things to get done...and one big one that I can check off the list. Invitations have been officially designed, ordered and deposit paid for. YIKES! We're getting maaaarrried.

I'm actually really happy with how they turned out and am excited to see it all put together....even so..these invitations have so far been the one wedding "chore" that has threatened to break my resolve to not get too stressed about wedding planning. I'll admit I'm a bit overwhelmed as we start to think about the details, but am excited that another BIG thing is checked off the list. Now I can enjoy four days of rum punch and sand in my hair.

Yes. Fantastic.

Things always get crazy right before vacation....

2010-04-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

Oh man....I really can't wait until we're on a plane Anguilla bound. Last week was an exhausting and trying week at work and today has only proved to be worse on many levels. With a busy work day filled with stress and topped off with a healthy dose of trying to get our wedding invites finalized before we head off on vacation so they can be ready to send out when we get back, I am already wiped. Another hour left of work and then some working out and teaching pilates to do. Sigh. Here's hoping everything gets done on time.

On a positive note Indy is seeming better. He stopped limping right when we started him on the anti inflammatory but on Saturday he was hobbling a little bit (we think he may have over exerted himself) and then back to fine last night and this morning. Here's hoping he won't be needing x rays when we get back.

Indy and his fragile bones....

2010-04-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

I had to take the mutt to the vet yesterday.... poor guy has been limping for a few days and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Turns out the vet thinks maybe he just strained his knee tendons and that some rest and doggy advil will help...fingers crossed. If it's not better in a week we take him in for some x rays.

BUT!

In less than a week we leave for Anguilla to attend a friend's wedding (cuz how can you pass up THAT invitation!) and if you may remember from our last trip out of the country Indy decided to up and get sick before that trip too! Luckily we've got Sam watching him again (thanks Sam!!) and that makes me feel all sorts of safe... but seriously, what is with this dog!? He better not try to pull any of this nonsense before our honeymoon!

In other dog news Indy weighed in at the vet at a whopping 107lbs!!! GOOD. GAWD!! The last visit there he was 96lbs and the vet agreed that he should lose about 10lbs to get back to that lean 96. When we adopted this beast we were told he would weigh 40-60lbs. I would say I want my money back...but I don't. Not even a little.

It's probably this kind of behavior that made him hurt his knee....but sometimes you just gotta get the crazies out.

Can we just do an evite?

2010-04-02T09:32:00.001-07:00

After a mini meltdown last night over the fact that the woman who is "supposed" to be designing our invitations hasn't emailed me in three weeks (!!) and I have no idea if she is even doing our invitations despite repeated desperate emails:

chris: "If we have to fire a vendor, we'll fire a vendor"

me: *sniff*

chris: "We'll hire a vendor just to fire them in front of the other vendors....We'll gather them all in one place and make an example of out em."

It's funny how the one wedding "detail" that was never even really a huge priority to me (invitations) has turned into the biggest hassle.

On the bright side we are going cake tasting tomorrow...so that's fun.

UPDATE: She emailed me today...saying that she would send a proof tonight....I'm not holding my breath.

Let them eat cake!!

2010-03-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

I made appointments for us to go cake tasting on April 3rd. Yay! That should be fun, right? I agree. We've got appointments at two different bakeries that work with our venue to work it into our catering package..... so as to avoid incidents like the one below.

I LOL-ed (he he. nice.) at work when I saw this clip because it's just....SO. TRUE. sigh.

oh weddings. you are a wacky wacky beast.

video found on a desert fete

clip from Man Stroke Woman

seriously though. CAKE.

Busy Little Bees

2010-03-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Thanks guys, you're swell....and I really appreciate all the kind words and support...sometimes you just need to be told you're being a crazy person.

I am getting SO excited for July 31st and am realizing just how quickly these next four months are going to go. SO much to do! and it's getting harder and harder to fit it all in. Chris has spent the last two weeks working a ton of overtime (getting home at 11 Friday night. boo!) and with me spending days working, nights and saturdays trying to finish my teaching hours for my certification it's all we can do to log some quality couch snuggle time on Sunday just to start it all over on Monday. We've also got the looming project of fixing up our guest room and turning it into a functional office/guest room. We bought a kick ass (read: expensive) sofa bed for the office...one that is both a comfortable bed and couch...and it arrived on Friday. Problem? Needing to rent a truck and go pick it up. Laziness (read: hangover) got the best of us this Sunday and we will be gone next weekend...wonder how long they'll hold it...

Hopefully we'll get to our minor room remodel of new baseboards and trim and some paint before the wedding. On the horizon is also some new sod for the front and backyard. I would show you our back lawn, but it's too embarrassing for the internet. It's just a bunch of dead grass, thriving weeds and a giant dirt hole courtesy of Indy. You get the idea...not summer BBQ worthy. It's times like this that I really want to win the lotto. Being independently wealthy would solve 93% of my problems.

Welcome to my neurosis. Grab a bean bag chair and a juice box...

2010-03-09T11:45:00.001-08:00

I have about half a dozen unfinished drafts of posts that I just either haven't gotten around to posting or have thought better of posting due to writing while emotional or just plain venting and not wanting anyone to take my post too personally....This wedding planning bidness...it is CUHRAZY!

I think even the few people that read this blog would never realize what an insecure people pleaser I can be (I can hear them scoffing now), but damn if wedding planning doesn't just bring that out in me... When it's just the two of us making decisions I get excited, it's easy (...ok...that might be a total lie...easier). But when you take the parts of the wedding that include our community...the community of friends and family that we so desperately want to include in our day...that's when things get stressful. I was discussing with a friend the other night about whether to have a socal bridal shower in addition to the one being thrown for me up north...and ended up saying (without even really thinking about this before I said it) that all I'm really worried about it that no one feels inconvenienced by our wedding. Gah! I, personally, have never ever felt inconvenienced or put out by a bridal shower, or bachelorette party or wedding...not even a little. I have felt excited and honored to be included....but when it comes to our wedding I just imagine everyone sitting around rolling their eyes and with big heavy sighs saying "another event surrounding their wedding??? geeeeeez....I'd rather be home mowing my lawn". Chris and I were talking last night about how we're wondering if our friends in LA are just seeing this as "the thing they are doing on their saturday night" because they'll just drive in....when it's such a HUGE day for us...such a huge happy day. Or I worry that out of town guests or bridal party members resent the money they will spend to fly in or go to events. All this insecurity and anxiety has left me with a knot in my stomach most days that's hard to shake and hard to explain. I know a lot of brides to be stress about what color linens or flowers to go with...and those choices are not at all what I find stressful about planning, but this stuff? GAH!! Maybe I'm just being crazy and overly sensitive...but I'm pretty sure I need to chill the eff out about it all.

Just because....

2010-03-04T09:21:00.000-08:00

Because how could this not make you smile....just look at him! LOOK AT HIM!!!

Well then.

2010-02-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

Today was a bummer of a day...for me it was just one of those days where you wake up in a funk. Nothing seems to go right and nothing anyone can say makes you feel like your life is going anywhere....and one thing after another just add up...even minor setbacks feel like giant hurdles impossible to overcome. Then we got some bad news about Chris's grandmother's health and I would like to say that it put things into perspective, but it really only made today seem like one big giant poopsicle. We played a bit of Super Mario Bros. tonight on the Wii...and that was nice.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a new day.

The Silent Killer

2010-02-19T15:52:00.000-08:00

Hey! Like the new template? I appreciate it for it's clean simplicity. It makes me want to write in the blank spaces...and that's good since I have clearly been an absentee blogger.

I have another post prepped all about our Valentine's weekend...but that doesn't seem very timely now, does it?

I could also tell you about the amazing dinner I made on Tuesday night....Red Bean Chili and Buttermilk Chive Biscuits (from scratch...yeeeeeea. they are amazing.) But I have no beautiful pictures to share with you of my creations so that seems a little pointless....

So I'll tell you about our misadventure from last night.

We had a little visit from our friendly (and strapping) Burbank Fire Department. At around 8:45pm we were in the midst of an enthralling episode of Gossip Girl (as a sidenote: you've never seen a man more excited to get NetFlix in the mail than Chris when the second disc of Gossip Girl arrived yesterday. He likes to phrase it as "i bet you're excited for Gossip Girl!". We all know who's REALLY excited for Gossip Girl...but I digress). So around 8:45pm we hear chirping....a three chirped alarm going off in the hallway. We've been having problems with an unruly smoke detector who constantly mistook the steam from the shower for smoke, but we put him out of his misery a couple weeks ago and there was nothing cooking, no one showering......it was our Carbon Monoxide detector. Immediately we were both a bit flummoxed. I mean...what do you DO when your CO detector goes off? I hopped on the google and everything says to 'GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!! CALL 911!!! YOU'RE SLOWLY DYING!!!". I read off the symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning and immediately Chris and I both start to feel light headed, nauseous and head achey. We contemplate that maybe it's just the battery, but there's a separate light to warn you if the battery is dying. Chris reads off the back of the alarm that says "CALL 911! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200!". The only other thing I could find online was that we needed to have a "qualified technician" inspect our appliances before we could reenter our house....but no explanation of what KIND of qualified technician. We called an emergency HVAC company who seemed thoroughly confused as to why we decided they could actually help us in any way. We had opened up all the windows and turned on the ceiling fans, but you can't just go about your evening when you're pretty sure you're being slowly poisoned....You can't go to bed with a CO alarm going off! First off all you can't sleep with that chirping...second of all...we could die in our sleep! Carbon monoxide slowly filling up the rooms....Indy would be the first to go!

So after a call to my mom to reassure me it wasn't stupid to call 911 we made the call. Within 5 minutes the fire department was at our house....the first thing they ask us? "Did you try changing the battery?". I immediately felt stupid. "Uhhh no. we figured if it was the battery the BATTERY light would be going off and the thing wouldn't be chirping three times'. They made us swap the battery out but the only one we had was completely dead...so that wasn't very productive. They checked all our pilot lights and gave our house the old sniff test for any gas...and declared us SAFE. They promised us we wouldn't die and told us that we might want to go ahead and replace our alarm....since it had been there since 2001. "uhhh...thanks guys! sorry to bring you all the way out here!". After they left I picked up the alarm and gave the back a once over....where I found the following:

"1 chirp- replace battery
3 chirps- replace alarm
4 chirps- GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE CUZ YOU'RE DYING!!!"

I don't want to place blame or say that the giant fire truck in front of our house could have been avoided, but I would like to point out that I was not the one that read the back of the alarm....I'm just saying.....

Only in LA....

2010-02-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

...is this a real conversation between your friends on Facebook.

My dreams they are odd.

2010-01-13T15:38:00.001-08:00

The night before last I had a dream that my dad, my fiancé and my brother all went out to get breast implants. My mom and I had gone shopping and were meeting up with them. As we strolled through the mall my mom turned to me and said "oh...you know...those men and their breast implants".

What a strange night....

2010-01-11T09:39:00.000-08:00

Around what I can only guess was about 3am this morning I was in and out of sleep when I heard Indy whining and staring out the sliding glass door of our room into the backyard. The sensor activated light by the laundry room in the yard had gone on and Indy was on alert for whatever set it off. This isn't unusual...on occasion we just tell him to go back to bed and he begrudgingly obliges with a huff. At other times I've opened the door to let him go check out whatever was bothering him. This time I got up to pee and thought "one of these days he's going to bark. that's when I'll be concerned." As I headed back to bed from the hallway I heard him let out a loud bark. Then another. He rarely ever barks. Chris woke up and I looked out the window with Indy. I couldn't see anything...but then the light by the laundry room when off..and my eyes played tricks on me. I thought I saw something...someone by the laundry room.

I'm still not sure what my reasoning was, but I opened the door to let Indy go check it out....to reassure me that there was nothing there....but Indy had seen what was there...and he TOOK. THE. EFF. OFF. But not in the direction I was looking. He took off and I saw him full speed ahead tackle a small animal in the back of the yard. My mind raced. "Great", I thought. "He's gonna get sprayed by a skunk". He lunged on the animal. From the bedroom door I could barely make out what was happening. Then Indy backed up as the animal went still. I could only see the butt of the thing...it was smaller than I thought it would be. Indy stood above it...staring at it with an intense glare. It didn't move. I couldn't tell what it was, but I didn't see the large rat tail I was looking for to confirm it was a possum.

All the while I kept trying to yell at Indy in my loudest whisper to "come! leave it!". I was convinced he had killed whatever it was. I tried not to think that it might have been a cat. Indy moved away from it...then decided to go back and check on it...maybe he saw it move. The animal let out a loud HISS. My heart lept in my throat and I was convinced he had tackled a cat. My mind flashed back to an article I read about a woman who's dog chased down a kitten in their back yard and shook it to death. I grabbed a shirt that was close by (I have no idea what I thought I would do with it) and ran out into the lawn to enforce that Indy leave whatever it was. When the animal hissed it had hopped up and backed itself into the corner of the yard by the fence and a large planter box. I had turned on the light and could see the thing's face. It wasn't a cat. I was convinced it was a baby possum. The creepiest looking baby possum I've ever seen (I've only seen one other baby possum). It didn't have a long nose. It looked like an owl actually and it moved it's head back and forth. Even Indy was freaked out. He backed away when I called him. He clearly had decided this wasn't anything to be too upset about and, while keeping an eye on the possum, took a pee. Then follow me inside. Never relaxing too much. I just stared outside at the animal in the corner. I'm not sure why but the look of this thing really freaked me out...the way it's flat face moved side to side.

I'm impressed with the restraint Indy showed although I'm not sure what would have happened if the thing hadn't played dead at first. I do also feel safer knowing Indy is on alert....although chris and I have decided I shouldn't open the door for Indy to go investigate anymore. No good can come of that.

As I fell back asleep the light went back on and Indy let out another bark. We told him to shove it.

I had a dream after all the excitement that there was a crazy lady in our backyard in a giant possum suit. We had sent Indy outside and he caught her. She got away but he got her suit. In the furry possum suit were large quantities of drugs. Giant ziploc bags full of marijuana and tiny bags full of pills and powders. Her family came by the house with cops asking if we had seen her. She was mentally insane and dangerous and we were told to keep our windows and doors locked and drapes closed.

Needless to say it was a weird night.

UPDATE: So I went to google some images of possums (because what is a post without a photo) and have realized that maybe it wasn't a possum that Indy found. I think it was an owl. I didn't see a tail and this was a much smaller animal. After googling images of a Common Barn Owl I'm pretty sure that's what it is. The Owlets (baby owls) are known to play dead when attacked and they will hiss or rasp when startled or attacked.

Well that doesn't make this any less weird, does it?

UPDATE II: Apparently possums hiss when they are attacked too...and naturally they play dead when they are attacked.

I guess we'll never know.

Could go either way....whatever I saw out there....it was one of the creepiest animals I've ever seen.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilates speaking

2009-12-17T09:52:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that I've been, shall we say, absent lately? If you were to see me in person you would have noticed a slight glazed over, exhausted look on my face as I stumbled through the last four months of my life trying not to fall over in the middle of conversations. I've been working towards a new direction in life....one that I really hope makes me a happier person, a better partner and eventually (I said EVENTUALLY PEOPLE!) a more available mom...to both furry and not furry children. In addition to working full time I've been getting certified to teach Pilates. And that, my friends, is why this blog has fallen slightly to the wayside.....well and because in addition to the working and Pilates (which occupies every night after work as well as my Saturdays and Sundays), we have this little thing called a wedding we've been trying to plan...gah! Not to mention Christmas!

So my point is that is that last night I took my final test and PASSED!! YAY!!

I still have a lot of practice teaching and observation hours to complete before I'll be fully certified to teach and it's not like my life is going to get any less busy anytime soon, but last night I passed the test that I've spent the last four months working towards and that feels so good. Merry Christmas to me!

yay!

I don't know why I had to add this...it just made me laugh...

Grover On Marriage

2009-11-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

Planning this wedding started off fun and exciting...but I admit.... I've hit a wall. I'm overwhelmed by the decisions and the seemingly vast number of tasks ahead of us and the very limited amount of free time we both have. The problem is that there seems to be an endless to do list with each and every decision requiring careful thought, discussion, planning, meetings and hours of back and forth conversation. I find myself starting one task (DJs!), getting overwhelmed and moving on to a different one (HONEYMOON!) and then a different one (INVITATIONS!). It's easy to get lost in what it all means...and I'm trying to constantly remind myself that the important part is that we're getting married and that all the people we love most will be in one place cheering us on ( would it be tacky to give everyone foam #1 hands to sport during the ceremony?)...and that is awesome.

Well that sounds nice....I'll sign on for that!. :)

I feel bad...but not bad enough not to press "publish post".

2009-10-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Friends, Internets, Strangers....I'd like to tell you a story about my friend....hmmmm what shall we call him to maintain his anonymity....ah well...fuck it...it's Linus. That's his real name. (Hi Linus!).

Just a few months after I moved to LA (six years ago) I got a panicked phone call from Linus telling me he needed me to take him to the hospital because he was REALLY sick. I immediately hopped in my car and rushed out to the west side not knowing the lay of the land or where ANY hospitals were. At the time Linus was attending a certain southern california film school (anonymity!) and was on a student health plan which required him to use a specific hospital. I asked him what hospital, but he didn't know...so I tried calling his mother or sister...or the nurse associated with the school's health plan...all while driving around Los Angeles in the dark, a strange part of a new city while Linus moaned and whined in the passenger seat. Finally we decided to just go back to his apartment...where I made him some Airborne....as it fizzed Linus whined about why it was so bubbly and fizzy and how he couldn't drink it and how it tasted bad. I made him soup...and as he took a sip he gagged dramatically and spit it back in the bowl...I thought maybe he was about to yak....but no....the soup was just too hot. Poor little bunny.

It should known that Linus didn't have the bird flu (that was all the rage at the time) or an appendicitis....so don't think me cruel...sure he was sick, but...well...c'mon. He was "man sick".

So...I came across this little gem of a clip on dooce.com....(read her entry about her husband's vasectomy. so funny.) and could not restrain myself from writing this post....sorry Linus....I told you! I COULDN'T resist. I tried...but I COULDN'T.

Giving the Platypus a run for it's money....

2009-10-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

I swear to god this is a real animal.

Internet, this is the Mexican Neotenic Mole Salamander.

Mexican Neotenic Mole Salamander, this is the Internet.

Dream Crusher.

2009-10-20T12:46:00.001-07:00

Me: "I'm gonna be a lady bug for halloween...and wear a red tutu."

Chris: "Ladybugs don't have red tutus"

well. duh.

Coworkers say the darndest things.

2009-10-15T10:16:00.001-07:00

Today is basically Friday for me....we leave for a wedding in Austin tomorrow at super early o'clock and won't be back til Monday...so that's pretty cool. I love Austin. Last time I was in Austin we drank for free for hours because the bar was giving away free Coors Light. Gee! Thanks!!! I'll take two!

Anyhoodle....the point is...I've been a bit out of it lately what with all the busy-ness and lots of "to do" lists swirling around in my head for work, wedding and life....so one might say I've been a little scatterbrained lately...or at least I feel like it.

(Get to the point, Jess.)

Ahem...

My normal morning routine consists of some basic makeup application. Nuthin fancy....some Bare Minerals foundation to even out my complexion, some eye shadow and some mascara to darken my blonde eye lashes....occasionally I forgo the mascara if I'm feeling lazy and only wear foundation. Despite me thinking I look like I'm 12 years old without eye makeup on I get the occasional compliment that I look "refreshed" or "fresh faced". Well gee. Thanks! Awesome! This morning, however, I forgot and unintentionally skipped my light spattering of powdered foundation and just put on a little bit of mascara and eyeshadow. Fantastic. Left the house feeling normal.

This is going somewhere I swear....

I'd been at work for over an hour, having spoken to no one yet, when my producing partner walks in and starts telling me a story...so I turn to face her...at which point she stops mid sentence and, in horror, says "ohmygod! did you get a black eye??!?!?!?!!?"

I'm so put off by her reaction that I get all self conscious and head straight to the bathroom thinking that I must have applied my gray/blue eyeshadow like a 3 year old and it's all over my face. But I look in the mirror and see... just my regular old face. Then i realize that what had her gasping in horror is MY FACE!!! MY REGULAR OLD FACE!!! This is JUST HOW I LOOK!!!! I have my grandfather's dark undereye circles compounded with the fact that I didn't fall asleep til 3am this morning and forgot to put on makeup.

So the point of this post is...I'm sorry Chris. I'm sorry that people think you beat me when I forget to put on makeup. When I asked you this morning if you'd still love me even if I was horribly ugly I didn't realize that you had already proved it by waking up to this face every morning. Here's to the next 80 years...

sigh.

Let the countdown begin....

2009-10-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

I swear I have a handful of unfinished posts sitting in draft form on the ol blogster that I have simply not had the energy to finish...but it's not that I haven't been thinking about blogging...things have just been too hectic.

The unfortunate part of blogging in a public forum is that there are some things that I just don't feel right posting about...just in case the wrong person or people should stumble upon this humble bloggity. That said I've undertaken a project that has kept me busy 5-6 days/nights out of the week in addition to working full time and in addition to planning our wedding which now is 9/10 months away (depending on how you look at it... in my mind October is basically over...what? it's only the 9th? yea. it'll be over soon.).

I seriously can't believe how it is sneaking up on us. We've been working on our save the dates for what seem like MONTHS now and are hopefully finally ready to get those printed and going. I love them. Like, hard. And I'm not just saying that because they are my brain child and not something generic we just bought off the internet, but that is part of it. :)

As of now I've been able to check off a few pretty big items off the to do lists. We've secured the location (which means that the caterer and booze situation is already taken c

are of) , deposits have been put down for our officiant and our photographer (the awesome and oh so talented Sarah Yates). ALSO....the dress. The dress has been chosen, ordered and partly paid for. Yay! After such an arduous search, I have some slight nerves that in six months I'll put on the dress and feel totally different about it...but I think that's probably normal so I'm going to squash those anxieties deep deep down and not think about that for another five months...in the meantime every time I swoon over a dress online I have to tell myself that it costs a million dollars and would look horrible on me. That seems to be working so far.

Now all that stands in my way of checking off everything on my 12 months + list is Chris completing one task. (That's right mister. I called you out on the interwebs.)

Oh lists. How I love you. Even if your only purpose is to be ignored.

You didn't ask...but I'll tell you.

2009-09-23T16:44:00.001-07:00

Whoever said shopping for a wedding dress is fun clearly has never gone shopping with me.

At this point I would have to say I've tried on about 70 dresses....At a recent appointment I asked the consultant how many dresses most girls try on. She said "maybe 10-15"...and my only response was "at a time?" I thought for sure she must be joking....10 dresses before you find THE dress? THE dress that makes you feel like the best version of yourself? THE dress that will knock your just about to be husband's socks off as you walk down the aisle? I asked Lil Meg over the weekend how many she tried on....6-10 she said. WHAAAAAAA????? There must be something wrong with me. I asked her this during one of the most frustrating shopping trips.

Up until this point all the consultants had been completely over the top helpful...even if they were off base or misguided, but as we headed to one store I had the displeasure of being "helped" by someone who as I gave her a rundown of my likes and dislikes stared at me as though I had just told her that I would be wearing a white bikini, lucite platform heels and a boa constrictor down the aisle...and I wanted her help picking just the right boa constrictor to compliment the flashing lights in the heels. She could not have been more confused and after saying at least four times to both me, my family and other consultants "i'm stumped. i have no idea what to pull" ultimately an hour later basically just said. "ok. thanks. we're done. bye". I left feeling pretty frustrated.

At this point.....where do we stand? Well I'm glad you asked....because while I've finally had some success.....I've now reached a stand still. Over the weekend I tried on three dresses that I love. But which one is the dress?...how do you know? People say you just know....but HOW do you know??????? What if there is another dress out there?....a better dress....THE dress. You go into these stores and try on dresses that don't fit....they roll the fabric up in the back with pins and clips and tell you "it'll look like this...this isn't the color it will be...it'll fit here...we can have the seamstress do this and this and this....." and how do women make this decision????? While in one of the stores another girl who was trying on dresses mentioned she had tried on over 100 dresses....but ultimately we were there when she chose THE dress....she made a decision....and while that dress looked wonderful on her....i would have bet there were other dresses that looked amazing on her too...so HOW!!!!! I am dying to just ask my bridesmaids and mom which one I should go for....but ultimately it's my decision and they are wonderful enough to hold there tongues about their preference until I ask....but maybe that's the test...maybe when someone says "i like THIS one better.....and my gut goes "noooo you should have said the OTHER one!"....then I'LL know which one I like......or maybe I just need to try on more dresses.....when does it stop????

NOTE: does this post make me seem neurotic and crazy? like maybe I'm over thinking this just a weeeee bit too much? oh...it does? well, yea....welcome to what chris gets to have for the next 80 years. tell him congratulations. :)

And then my head exploded. The end.

2009-09-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

Gah.

What a whirlwind this past month (has it been a month? longer? huh? where am I?) has been. LOTS going on and it makes it hard that some of it I'm not yet cleared to discuss on the very public forum of "internet" so whenever I've started writing a blog post and wanted to talk about all the cool opportunities and possibilities that are a-brewin I get stuck. Stuck because everything is so intertwined and to mention one thing leads to discussing all sorts of other things....

So let's stick to one topic we can all get behind....WEDDING PLANNING!

I never really realized just how sucked into the vortex of wedding gabledegook I would be....especially so early on. The even CRAZIER thing is how we're totally not even way ahead of schedule on things. Last weekend I went shopping for wedding dresses for the first time thinking "this is nuts! this is too early to be looking" only to find out it takes 6-8 MONTHS! (not weeks. MONTHS) to get the dress once you've picked it out. Sure you can do it later...but it'll cost you in rush fees to ship and then rush alterations and blah blah blah we'll charge you for anything cuz it's your one special day and we know you'll pay it!! hahaha!

I do have to say though it's all very fun and exiting and I'm really into the whole planning process...I just wish I had more TIME and didn't have this pesky JOB! that keeps getting in the way of all the fun things I want to do. I can totally see how wedding planning drives people crazy though....with all the details and the minutiae that can swallow you whole. As a "planning" type of person I find it fun. I spend every single day planning out elaborate shoots for a show I have no personal invested interest in...and with THIS I get to plan something that actually matters to me quite a bit! Which is awesome! It's even better that Chris actually cares about the details and has opinions! and input!...sure it's hard to get him motivated after a long day to play ball this far out from the date, but he does care.

Me: "here! look at this officiant's website!"

Chris: "mmmhmmm...i'm downloading the Beatles remastered!"

.....I swear I am marrying my father.

Yesterday I finally sent in our contract with our venue to lock this thing down! It's official. We're getting married. Location: √.

This weekend we'll be up north for a friend's wedding....I'll also be traipsing off to do some more dress shopping with my mom while in town. Squee!!!! I feel like a five year old playing dress up and it's AWESOME!

Next week we've got two meetings set up with photographers! Yay! This is something we're totally excited about (photography...not the actual meetings...the meetings will probably be kind of tedious). The photography of our wedding is one of my big priorities...and I think Chris' too...and I'm thrilled at the possibility of having some really cool stylized wedding photography to stare fondly at when I'm 80. :)

Miss me?

2009-08-12T17:40:00.001-07:00

So yes. I haven't posted in a while. Get off my back Internet!!! I'm only one person!

So I've been working on a post that is both comprehensive and full of pictures and videos condensing all the superawesomeamazingness that was our trip to St. Maarten, but have been not only super ultra busy, but also completely unmotivated and distracted. One of the reasons you fine followers of the Blogster haven't gotten a post recently is due, in part, to this. We've started watching Breaking Bad. We just can't stop. I sit with my laptop thinking "I'll multi-task. Yes. Let's watch an episode and I'll type away while keeping one eye on the tv and getting the gist of what's going on". And then....I can't......must....watch....eyes glued....This show is really truly amazing and you must see it. I command you. Go...now....I'll wait.

........

No I won't. I don't have that kind of time.

So that's one excuse. And it's a damn good one if you ask me. We went to see The Hurt Locker this weekend and I'm pretty sure that part of the reason this movie didn't pull me in as much as it did others is because the intensity doesn't even compare to that of Breaking Bad. Dan says it gets even better in the second season and I honestly can't even imagine how.

Also. Go see Funny People. Now. I'll wait......

We've got worms!!!

2009-07-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Whew! Ok...so Indy is alright. He's just got a little case of....put your sandwich down....TAPEWORMS!!! Yay! I'm not sure what I was preparing myself for but the tension that I felt leave my shoulders when Chris called and said the vet seemed unimpressed and just prescribed a shitload of medicine for little guy was immense. Turns out he could have had these little suckers living in his stomach for a very long time and only now showed symptoms...what timing he has!

The other big news from this vet's visit is that Indy now weighs in at a whopping 96lbs!!! And that's WITH a gnarly case of mud butt. Good lordy! When we adopted Indy at 3 months old he weighed 25lbs and the rescue agency said he's end up somewhere in the 40-60lb range. That's our boy.....breaking the glass ceiling...with one whip of his 30lb tail.

Now.......we can relax knowing that Indy is in good hands and enjoy our trip to ST. MARTIN!!!!!!!!!!

SQUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

A little rain cloud...

2009-07-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

So....the day is finally here. We leave tonight for a full week of tropical weather and no work. I'm beyond excited....as of yesterday afternoon I, in front of coworkers, had a moment where I realized I would be on vacation laying on the beach without dealing with work for an entire 7 days and let out a giant SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!

But today I'm more worried than excited. Our poor Indy bones has had an upset stomach all week and I've been trying to soothe it by feeding him chicken and rice and some doggy kaopectate....but last night when I got home I noticed some....shall we say...."infested doggy byproduct" (yea...I went there) and am pretty sure my little pupcelot has some kind of parasite. Normally my control freak motherly instinct would do whatever it took to get him in to the vet right away no matter how late to work I was, but because I've got a ton to do at work so I can actually relax for a week away, Chris is planning on taking Indy to the vet at 4:00 today. We leave for the airport only 4.5 hours later...I'm not 100% sure of my own diagnosis since there's been, shall we say, some "other weird poo" (Yes. We're talking about dog poo today. Deal with it) and I'm just all sorts of worried. Normally I wouldn't stress about something like this, but the idea of our muttpuppy being sick while we're gone gives me anxiety. Thank god my friend Sam will be house/dog sitting for us while we're gone and I trust her completely to take care of Indy, but I can't help but kick myself for not taking him in to the vet earlier...just to be sure before we left.

Well....keep your fingers crossed it's nothing a little medicine and head scratches can't fix.

Summer 2009

2009-07-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Ok....yes....yes...I've been absent....very absent....but with very good reason!!!

Now what was that reason.....

Yes! Busy!

We have been going NONSTOP since about the end of May and while I am totally exhausted it's all been such fun and good stuff that I wouldn't have traded any of it for extra sleep. I am, however, totally ready for our TRIP TO ST. MAARTEN!!!!

GAHSOEXCITEDCAN'TPUNCTUATEDUETOEXCITEMENT

So...here's what's been going on...

We attended my cousin Pete and his beautiful bride Grace's wedding in June. The ceremony was intimate and beautiful and the reception fun and relaxed. Overall....one of the best weddings I've been to. Congrats you two! And don't think I wasn't getting ideas for our wedding!

Seriously...look how happy they are!!!! It's just disgusting!

The following weekend my parents came down south with my grandma and we took a little trip to the most expensive....er...commercial....er....hottest....er...happiest place on earth! DISNEYLAND! I have to say this was probably one of the most enjoyable trips to Disneyland we've taken, partly due to Chris and my "just engaged" buttons that got us smiles and congratulations from all the Disney employees, but mostly due to the fact that my grandma agreed to use a wheelchair while traversing the park and we got to bypass a lot of the lines and move straight on up to the front! HELLS TO THE YEEEEA!!! Check out these pictures in lieu of actual words!

The following two pictures are part of the reason I'm marrying chris. :)

I think we've found what we're wearing to the wedding....so much for not seeing the bride all dressed up before the big day!

I also like this one cuz chris' hat is a hat wearing a hat.

We also spent a glorious three nights in Palm Springs for 4th of July at an amazing house we rented with some friends....I could post a lot of pictures from that weekend but the best way to encapsulate it is with the one photo below....
and to tell you that it was 110 degrees the entire weekend....and that because of a mixup with the pool instructions we ended up heating the pool to the same temperature as the spa...a balmy 103 degrees....turns out all we really needed was a garden hose and some sprinklers to run through...cuz those certainly did the trick.

Couldn't let today go by without saying....

2009-07-07T23:18:00.001-07:00

There's lots to cover here....we've been insanely busy these last few weeks and my dance card has been full every single weekend since May and it's not looking open at all until...well....August, but it's all good fun stuff and I'm not complaining...

Where do I begin??

Oh yes! :) Happy 30th Birthday to my one and only fiancé.

Today my favorite person in the entire world turns the big 3-0 and it sure does look good on him.

What? It's not cruel to post a photo of someone eating a banana just upon waking up after a night of drinking....is it?

Anyway......we just got back from a great dinner at AOC Winebar, a place I've been wanting to check out for years, but haven't because....well.....because every time I have to think of somewhere to go eat I forget about the places I've been wanting to try for years. At this point in life though I've realized that one of my favorite things is to eat tapas and wine in good company and this place did not disappoint....neither did the company. It was fancy without being pretentious with good food (especially the cheese and wine) to back up the reputation.

This weekend we've got a BBQ planned to celebrate Chris' birthday with friends and in just a couple weeks we'll be in St. Martin!!!!! So much excitement....but it's late and I'm suhleeeeepy..

More photos of our recent trip to Disneyland and Palm Springs coming soon!

Tuesday is the new Monday...

2009-06-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough morning already. The come down from such a happy (three day) weekend of celebration is rough. Sunday was a day filled with celebrating the marriage of such a great couple (my cousin peter to grace) and our engagement and now I'm back to work. And it's underwhelming to say the least.

At least I've got two four day weeks in a row....the longest four days weeks EVER!

In order to prevent this post up from being a massive downer I'd like to show you the following video.

On our way out of Sunnyvale we stopped to get Chris some new tires at Costco...while we waited we found a shady patch of grass and plopped ourselves and Indy down. There must have been an accident at the construction site in the Costco parking lot because there were fire trucks and ambulances that started filing in....and when Indy hears sirens........well, it's just adorable.

Hey...guess what?

2009-06-19T01:44:00.000-07:00

So remember that hot date I mentioned? Well.....turns out it was the best hot date a girl could ask for....Couldn't have been more perfect....and couldn't have had a more perfect ending. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

We're engaged!!

I don't think I've ever been this happy.

5 Years Ago Today.

2009-06-18T11:46:00.001-07:00

5 years ago today Chris and I decided to stop fooling ourselves that we were just friends and made the whole dating thing official. I would have never imagined back in 2004 that we would end up owning a house and a dog together...really weird. It's been an amazing five years and and I'm excited for my hot date tonight!

Indy's pretty happy we ended up together too.

" I ruv my mommy and daddy"

- (Indy wrote that. His typing skill are impressive given the whole giant paws/tiny keyboard situation)

This has got to be some kind of joke....

2009-06-15T09:18:00.001-07:00

Years ago I had a conversation with a friend about fashion and how trends are cyclical (I know, fascinating) and we wondered whether the 80's would come back. I assumed that like most fashion trends from by gone eras some of the key pieces that could blend easily into modern styles would make a come back, but truly dated things like giant hair sprayed bangs, heat sensitive shirts and MC Hammer pants would stay firmly where they belonged. I may have been wrong. This may only be true of Los Angeles where most people are fashion sheep, but I am consistently shocked and appalled at some of the things I've seen people wearing.

On a related sidenote, I subscribe to the daily email "Daily Candy" which sends out emails regarding new restaurants, bars, stores and trends based on your location. I've found Daily Candy to be hit or miss in terms of my own personal style, but have discovered some of my favorite restaurants and bars through these emails and have gotten some great gift ideas from the style geared posts.

Today, however, my faith in Daily Candy plummeted and I lost a lot of respect for the publishers when I was alerted to the existence of...the Cap Sac.

The 80's... in all their neon fanny pack glory....are back.

And it's not pretty.

Let me break it down for you.....it's a shapeless nylon cap...with a zippered pouch....on your head. I swear to god if I see one asshole (like these assholes) in LA wearing this I'll smack it off his/her useless face and send them back to the midwest, where this monstrosity belongs. What's that you say? It's ironic? No. It's stupid and you look stupid in it.

Visit their website! It's here www.cap-sac.com. Go ahead. Give them hits! It's funny! But know that every time you buy one of these offensive pieces of crap, a puppy dies.

Daily Thought

2009-06-11T21:08:00.001-07:00

Mixed CDs are like flowers. Everyone wants to get them, but if you have to ask for it it's not as fun to get.

Single girl behavior.

2009-06-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

Chris is gone this weekend for a bachelor party and I've been left to my own devises. I'm not sure what I'll spend the weekend doing, but it's been made quite clear to me that my "to do" list better include cleaning my side of the closet and putting away the giant pile of clothes that has gathered on the ottoman in our bedroom. Some habits die hard.

There are any number of things that I will do this weekend with my singledom. I think my list will include napping, singing loudly to either chick rock or country (or both) and getting a massage. Maybe even eating cereal for every meal. mmmm..... Number one on my list, though, is sleeping in the middle of the bed.

Listen to me...running on about all these plans. Aren't I ambitious. I think what is more likely to happen is a lot of watching episodes of Bridezillas or getting sucked into marathons of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Let's hope I'm more productive than that.

I have begun to molt.

2009-05-14T14:41:00.001-07:00

The peeeeling.....ick.

I woke up yesterday morning and my shirt was stuck to my back. Literally, actually stuck. Chris spent 10 minutes slowly peeling my tank top off of the sunburn.....inch by inch. Apparently I had not let the aloe dry long enough before climbing into bed and sleeping firmly planted on my back all night long....

I suddenly had flashbacks to the time I locked my finger in my car door which rendered me sans nail and with a few stiches. The next day the gauze from the dressing had stuck to my fingernailless open exposed wound....and after hours of trying to remove the gauze at home the nurse at Urgent Care RIPPED it off....causing the wound to ooze and bleed while my mom resisted the urge to punch the nurse in the face and I let out a loud 'FUUUUUUUCK!!!"

This time was similar...except without the blood, oozing, open wound and visit to urgent care....but there was some cussing....and this time the nurse was hot.

I fought the lawn and the sun won.

2009-05-11T16:37:00.001-07:00

Over the last couple months, as we've watched our backyard whither and die, I would stare out of our bedroom sliders or the kitchen window, shake my head and make comments about how we should really get to work on the backyard because pretty soon we'd have to accessorize with some beer cans and cigarette butts to accompany the dead grass, giant holes and empty flower beds.

It didn't really hit me until I realized that the state of our backyard was bothering me more than any other project in our house, that we really needed to get on that. We spent a big chunk of the weekend doing some hefty landscaping...which included complete removal of ferns from one of the flower beds (not and easy task I tell you), transplanting a 100lb (it took both of us to move it) Iris from a pot into the yard, planting some pretty flowers and bushes, reseeding and fertilizing the lawn and fencing off the whole darn thing so Indy could stay out of it.

Saturday we worked later in the afternoon as it cooled down and it was nice.....

Sunday I tried to get an early jump on things...so I headed outside around 10am....wearing a long sleeve shirt...as it got hotter i took off the long sleeve shirt.......not realizing all of a sudden it was 1:00 in the afternoon.

You know how they say you should avoid the sun during the hours of 10:00am and 3:00pm because the sun's rays are the worst?

You should listen to them.

I should listen to them.

If only there were some kind of creme or lotion I could have put on to prevent this whole thing....

($10 says I get a lot of lectures about skin cancer out of this post)

Did I mention we're going on vacation and that I haven't been on vacation in 10 years? No? Good. Let me tell you. Ad nauseam.

2009-05-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say here today....except that since posting about our upcoming vacation I can't stop thinking about it....I google pictures and am doing research every day. If I need a quick (errr...not so quick?) distraction at work I start doing research on renting cars on the island and electrical adapters and where to shop and what to bring and ooooh look at how white that sand and how blue that water is.....siiiiiiiigh. I need to stop. It's not healthy to be this excited almost 3 months out. I can't sustain this kind of interest....and if I can...if I only get more excited...well, I'll be no good for anyone. I'm afraid that as the weeks pass my only response to anyone trying to engage me in conversation will be "DIDITELLYOUWHEREI'MGOINGONVACATIONONMYGODI'MSOEXCITED!!". followed by my own googled pre vacation slide show full of pictures of beach umbrellas and white sand. And then my head will explode.

Maybe I should make out a list of possible conversation topics that do not completely surround the idea that in just 2(ish) months I'll be spending a full 7 nights on a tropical paradise surrounded only by the sound of waves and calypso music (note: calypso music not guaranteed).

On another note that also involves complete distraction from work.....

If you feel like losing days of your life to the roller coaster of frustration and triumph that can only come from brain teasers, do yourself a favor and go here:http://www.mcgov.co.uk/zahada.html

However, if you value your employment...and sanity...I recommend staying away. It will drive you crazy while making you feel retarded and brilliant all at the same time. I'm currently on #32.

11 Weeks and Counting

2009-05-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

No...I'm not pregnant.

But.... We did it. We finally did it. I almost don't even want to type it out lest it disappear in a whiff.....

So I'll whisper it.

We booked our flights and hotel for our vacation to St. Maarten!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO...I mean...whoooooo!

I am. Beyond. Excited.

We had to push the date by two weeks from my original plan...one week past Chris' original plan (we had apparently failed to communicate about dates) because the price of flights was better. All in all I think I found us a great deal and barring any kind of weather tragedy I think it's going to be AWWWWWESOOME!!!

We've got 11 weeks before we leave. Which is a painfully long amount of time....but also long enough for me to find my sunglasses, buy a new bathing suit, and procure a fun floppy sun hat which I will wear while laying on a beach with a cocktail in one hand and a bottle of SPF 75 in the other (for Chris. He's gonna burn like a forgotten burger at a BBQ)...hehee....YAY!!

Wanna see where we're gonna stay? Wanna? Wanna? Okay! Stop hassling me! We're staying at The Grand Case Beach Club.

All the reviews we read said the same thing- that is was a quiet part of the island with not so crowded beaches and an easy walk to good restaurants. All of which sounds awesome to us. Not to mention we will be able to afford an ocean view...which I didn't realize made me so happy until I booked it.....ahhhh...I can hear the sound of the waves now....

I had a dream the other night that we were on vacation and I woke up happier than I had in YEARS.

How I got the Swine Flu.

2009-05-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

Chris and I took a little jaunt into a ~~horrific~~ obnoxious popular part of Santa Monica known as 3rd Street Promenade to go to West Elm to buy some curtains for the living room. We hit pay dirt, found exactly what we were looking for and were heading home for a delicious lunch of Bagel Bites and pasta salad when out of nowhere it happened. I heard it before I even felt it....but oh man did I feel it. A older shorter woman walked right up next to my arm....and f'ing coughed on me. She didn't just cough in the general area. She used my arm as though it were her own. I could feel the puff of hot H1N1 breath and I turned and saw her face just about an inch from my bicep. I was, with complete justification, horrified, disgusted and mostly pissed the fuck off. It was so blatant and out of line that it seemed intentional. A complete violation of not only my personal space but of social rules that say you just don't fucking cough ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!

No. She didn't apologize.

Yes. I yelled at her.

No. She didn't notice.

Yes. I came home and washed my hands, arm and sweater.

Yes. I believe I now have the Swine Flu.

I'll keep you all updated on my diagnosis.

ooooohhhhhhhh errrrrrr mmmmrrrrrrr

2009-04-30T23:04:00.001-07:00

Took my first Cardio Barre class tonight.....and yes...I'm having trouble bringing my arms up to the keyboard to type thank you for asking.

I work out regularly....but I don't push myself....I haven't worked out like this in a while and it's sad that there was a time in my life where I was dancing 5 days a week and this would have been nuthin. I would have finished class asking when the workout started. Sigh. Here's to getting back into shape. I'm hoping that maybe this can be my transition back into taking some dance classes.....

......maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's see if I can walk tomorrow.

Daily Thoughts....

2009-04-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

Why is Colonel pronouced Kernal? That makes no sense at all.

Who decided "grape" jelly was "the" jelly of PB & J. It was the only one on the table at brunch on Sunday and I find that to be outrageous. Any jelly is better than grape jelly. Blackberry jelly being the one jelly that will rule them all. And don't even get me started on jam......oh I love jam.

Thank you for asking....let me tell you.

2009-04-23T15:01:00.001-07:00

Recently I took a Facebook poll and submitted my list for the "Top Five People I Want to Punch in the Face"*.

* Personally I would have liked to change the title of the poll to "Top 5 People I'd Like to Punch in the Throat"...mostly because that gagging sound when you pop a bitch in the larynx is so satisfying...also because that's funnier than just hitting some poor sap in the face.

The list was as follows:

1) Rush Limbaugh

2) Heidi and Spencer

3) Tracy Morgan

4) Every fucker** at Fox News

5) Your mom ***

** This wasn't the word used on Facebook. The real word my mother finds incredibly offensive (although I find pretty funny...maybe for that exact reason) and since she reads this blog I'll refrain from using it...out of respect for my mother.

*** Apparently I only have respect for my own mother...and none for yours.

What's funny about this list is that a few of my friends questioned my inclusion of Tracy Morgan... maybe because they like him and find him funny....or maybe (and believe me this is a hypothetical) they are sheep and just accept what "the man" tells him is "comedy"...or "acting". I, for one, cannot stand this punk. He's blatantly not funny and an actively bad actor. I hate him mostly, though, because he is preventing me from watching what I believe is probably a very good show- 30 Rock. I say "probably" a good show because I've only been able to watch bits and pieces of scenes...until Tracy Morgan comes on screen and the rage that fills my body makes my blood boil and curdle. ooooooh Tracy Morgan...how I despise your 3rd grade Christmas play acting. GAH!!! I shake my fist at you!!!

Even as I write this I can hear his halted delivery...as though he's reading the script off of cue cards held behind Alec Baldwin's head...except that he may be functionally illiterate. I could go on and on, but now I'm getting upset. Just rest assured that if I ever encountered Tracy Morgan on the street I would most certainly say to him "you are a carbuncle on the ass of comedy and a very bad actor". And then I would punch him in the throat.

Sometimes he's funny...

2009-04-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Last night.......

Chris: You know the funny bone is the body's most powerful erogenous zone.

Jess: That so?

Chris: Yes... Laughter is the best medicine.

(pause)

Chris: Zombie laughter is the worst medicine.

Birds and Boats

2009-04-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much luck in the blogging department over the last few days...sometimes it just seems like there's nothing interesting about the things I do on a daily basis. I'm sure you'd all be thrilled to hear more about how I pulled out the ferns that were taking over one of my flower beds and stealing all the water and sun from the beautiful calililys and gardenias. Shove off I told those ferns! Get back to your side of the bed!

I know...reeeally interesting. I won't make you sit through that blog post...although it did occur to me to take pictures of the plants and create an entire series of Garden Wars....no?

I could also talk about how awesome Indy has been lately and what a great big cuddle bug he is and how I'm really hoping it wasn't just the heat or some weird illness that has been making him less crazy (although still working on that jail break) and more mellow.

Instead I'll show you a video I found on youtube maybe a year ago. I'm not even sure how I stumbled on this cover of "Boats and Birds" by Gregory and the Hawk since I wasn't familiar with the original...but I have to say...I like this version better. I've since done a lot of searches for other covers and I have to say all of them pale in comparison. There is something about the gentleness and vulnerability in this girls voice that I find beautiful.

Can you dig it?

2009-04-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

When we first saw our house the backyard was lush and thriving. A backyard to be somewhat relatively proud of. Not without it's flaws (too much concrete and a bit "square" for my personal taste), but green and alive. With all the rain we got in Jan/Feb we had turned off our sprinklers and now that we've returned to normal dry southern california weather of course our sprinklers aren't working. Something has gone awry. So naturally our lawn has become a dust bowl. And what does Indy love to do but dig in dirt. He won't dig in the grass or where there are flowers...the little sucker has some respect for landscaping, but every evening when I get home from work there's more and more evidence of what he's been occupying his day with.

This, my friends, is how my dog kills time...or shows us he's bored. If it's an escape attempt, it's a pretty bad one.

"I'm digging to China!! Right after this nap......zzzzz...."

(shhh...he's not aware they eat dogs in parts of China.....I would tell him but he might have nightmares)

And look! On a completely unrelated note....we have our first two apricots growing on our apricot tree!!

It kinda looks like Indy's tiny little balls before we had them chopped off!

........what?.......... is that weird?

The Dog Who Cried Poop.

2009-04-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I find that some people don't appreciate when I make comparisons between children (especially small babies) and dogs, but the similarities are striking, people. I have, on multiple occasions, mistaken a kid's toy for a dog toy and vice versa. It's just a lot of squeaky rubber and plastic. I once picked up a dirty stuffed toy off the ground and handed it to my cousin's child just as she said "that's a dog toy". In hindsight, it made sense...I wouldn't have given that thing to my child either, but who am I to judge other people's parenting.

Vintage Indy photo...but one of my favorites.

Indy is a smart dog...very smart....too smart. But he's limited to his good looks and sparkling personality because he's always going to be stunted at the developmental level of a 3 year old with a learning disability. That's the real difference between babies and dogs (ok. I know, there's other differences...like one has hair and the other doesn't...blah blah blah)- one has the capacity to continue to learn things like human language and emotional development.

One of the many reasons I wish I could talk to Indy (other than asking him what is so damn tasty about my socks) is that I would like to read him the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I think it would benefit him tremendously and open up the lines of communication and understanding between the species. That way I could tell him that barking at the dog being pushed in a little red wagon is NOT the same as eating the face off of a hostile intruder and if he continues to growl when he sees a possum running across the back fence I'm going to ignore the time when our flat screen is being hauled out the door by meth heads in ski masks.

That story would also get the message across that when we go on our walks he can't just stop and look at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes as if to say "mom. i'm seriously going to crap on the sidewalk if you don't stop" only to sniff the grass and claim that tree as his own.

On our walk last night I tried to put my foot down and not let him stop every few houses, but far be it from me to keep a man from doing his business. (Sometimes I even bring a magazine in case he needs help) So I stop, make him sit, then say "ok" and release him. Sometimes he even pretends to circle around finding the right spot or fake pops a squat... but then lowers his head to sniff or lifts his leg and declares that INDY WAS HERE. "Hurray! Squeaked one in past mom!"

I'm telling you...this dog is not stupid..... Every night I grab a bedtime biscuit and open the back slider for Indy. I say "go outside and go potty". He knows he's supposed to go to the grass and pee before he can get his biscuit...but lately he's been bolting outside, barely touching the grass and then immediately turning tail (hehe) and making a bee line for the door like he's doing line drills.

"What's the problem now?"

And see! You didn't even have to wait until I had kids to get a blog post about poo. How awesome for you.

Jessica's Warning Of The Day

2009-04-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

Whatever you do....do NOT google "bunion" and then click on images.

This may not have been worth the build up....

2009-04-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

So I'm a liar. I did NOT post before/after picts of the living room....but what do you want from me, really?

Oh.....just before/after pictures of the of the living room? Ok. Well now I feel bad.....

See the thing is...I've been REEEALLY busy. Work has sort of exploded into a series of "ohmygodhurryupyouvegotabunchofshootsfordifferentpeople!!" with a little bit of "heywhere'sthatthingIneedbutnevertoldyouIneeded?!" mixed in for good measure.

So let's recap shall we? Not this past weekend but the weekend before that we had a BBQ for my birthday! I had a great time since there's really nothing better than cooking up some burgers, drinking some beers, hanging out with friends all at your own place. You can walk around barefoot...raid your own pantry...and best of all: NO DRIVING! So the party was a blast...there was even a candyless pinata!! (thanks dan!)

What do you mean this looks dangerous?

(You can see Dominique there saying "Here, Chris. Let me hold your beer. we don't want you to lose that when this goes terribly wrong...")

Anyway...the weekend before the party Chris and I commit ourselves to finishing...the living room.

This is what the living room looked like before the previous owners even moved out.....the first impression is nice...the minty green color not my favorite, but it had a cozy feel to it. That's part of what attracted us to the house....

But then once we went back after they had moved everything out we got a really good look at how damaged the walls were and how dirty and unfortunate things looked...and man I couldn't stand that mint green. The baseboard was already pulling away from the wall and the rest of the moldings were caked with 64 years of paint and had been put up by someone with a loose interpretation of the word "craftsmanship".

So we got to work pulling off all the baseboards and window/door moldings, repaired walls, spackled for DAYS and ultimately primed and painted a much more pleasant shade of green. The pictures don't really do it justice (especially the color difference)....so come visit! I'll show you and we can have one of those long winded conversations about home improvement I'm sure my friends are tired of by now.

So now I promise...ok...so my promises are no good now...but I will TRY to get back on my posting track. Some exciting possible posts to come:

1.) Hey! Check out our new drawer pulls!

2.) We finally got a lawn mower!

3.) Jess tries plant care one more time.

I know....hold on to your boots people...I've become officially a home owner!!! Just wait til I have kids! Just imagine how interesting this blog will become then! (future posts: 1.) poop, the good, the bad and the ugly)

Note: Home ownership was also marked by the recent stark realization that they don't send you a property tax bill when you buy a house...instead they send you a supplemental bill for the amount you'll owe NEXT year to the place you USED to live. Good thing I just happened to check the website and find out we owe $2100 on Friday. Oh California Government...with all your efficiency it's hard to believe you're broke....you're so silly....

Stop yelling at me!!!

2009-04-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ok...so I know I promised before and after photos...and last night I did upload them to my computer and then decided I felt too sleepy to continue on with those shenanigans and demanded that Chris stop his tom foolering around on his computer and come to bed!! Ok...there was no demanding...he just finished what he was doing and I was really only uploading photos as a way to kill some time.

So I promise to the many adoring fans who have been flooding the comment box with demands for pictures of the BBQ and the house that I will post something tonight. For now I will leave you with something Linus sent me that I find so incredibly appropriate for how I feel every other Friday.

I doubt any of you can relate.

Serious case of the Mondays...

2009-03-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly certain there is nothing worse than the looming dread of facing another work week that settles in on a Sunday night....except maybe a Monday morning where you went to bed at 1:30 and dreamt about how much you just don't think you can make it through another work week...and pores. I dreamt about pores too (sidenote:In my dream I was looking in the mirror and was like "whoa! My pores are huge!" And then jumped into them through the mirror. I'm fairly certain Biore Pore Strips have expanded their marketing to include subliminal dream implants).

Anyhoo...

We had a BBQ for my birthday on Saturday and while setting a date for a party can be great motivation to get some projects done on the house...it's EXHAUSTING! We'd been working steadily (think 9 hours last Saturday, 8 hours on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights after work until midnight) in order to finish the living room before our BBQ this past Saturday and my only plan for Sunday was to do nothing. Well, not the only thing. My agenda looked like this:

-wake up
-eat breakfast
-do nothing
-nap
-eat lunch
-do nothing
-go to my birthday dinner with Chris

It was everything I hoped it could be and more. I can almost get a glimpse into the future of having no looming home improvement projects and being able to *gasp* relax! I'll have pictures of the living room and party picts probably tomorrow since my Sunday apparently didn't include "upload picts and blog". I know you're probably devastated. Try not to cry.

Where arrrrrrrrr you going with those diamonds??

2009-03-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

I was recently approached by an up and coming comic book artist to document my after hours crime fighting adventures. Oh! You weren't aware I was a superhero? Oh yes. Sometimes I like to dress up....and fight crime as my alter ego:

My boss called this "not really working"...

2009-03-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

As I drove in to work this morning all my usual street parking spots were taken up by film trucks and crew vans. I figured it was something being shot in our "studio", but the amount of people, equipment and organization made it obvious is was something else. Then we (I've been giving my friend a ride to work while he figures out funeral plans for his car) noticed a Dunder Mifflen sign. Hey! They're shooting and episode of The Office in the parking lot next door!

So I took some mildly stalker like photos from the window of our building...

See! This is the crew!

And look!

My very own Steve Carrell!

See! Can you see him?! He's that short dude in the middle wearing a black mismatched suit. Ok, so that could be any short dude in a mismatched suit....but I promise you, it's him. Damn you iphone and your lack of a camera with a zoom!!!

Maestro? The banjo please.

2009-03-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

Our neighbor to the left has a perfectly manicured lawn. Our theory is that just before we moved in he must have completely reseeded his lawn, because there is an even layer of blemish free grass carpeting his front yard. It's a sight to behold, really, and I've started to feel incredibly guilty for our blatant neglect of our front yard. We've been so focused on working to improve the interior of our house that we just felt the front yard could wait. We don't even own a lawn mower yet, so we figured we'd just wait until there was an overgrowth of grass...turns out we'll be waiting a long time for the grass since there's none to speak of. In an effort to bring down property values throughout the entire neighborhood we've established a thriving weed population. I'm not sure if there is a tool known as a "weed mower" (weed whacker you say? Hmmmm) but if such a fancy tool exists we may need to purchase one.

"Legalize weed!", they say.

Just for an extra bit of mustard on the sandwich, the screen door we took down the day we moved in is still sitting happily on our front porch. Oh god. We're THOSE neighbors.

I've got a code in by dose.

2009-03-18T11:18:00.001-07:00

Just as I was getting back into my running and working out routine last week... this week I feel like this:

Not that I'm wearing a suit and fancy hat....nor do I have a similarly dressed buddy sharing my congested pain sitting next to me at the moment(I'm hoping maybe later), but this was the best picture I could find to describe how I feel. I couldn't find a picture that encompassed the achy feeling, but I think we all understand.

If I believed that taking a decongestant would do anything other than make me feel sleepy and/or wired at the same time I would haul ass to my local drug store. Instead I'll continue popping vitamin C and use my blog as a way to seek sympathy for my sucky cold that makes me not want to go running despite the consequences...which are that my dog will pace the living room all night making me feel guilty for neglecting his own exercise needs because "HELLO I'M TRAPPED IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY LONG BY MYSELF, MOMMY!" To which I will look at him and say "go do that crazy running around the tree and digging thing you do to release excess energy. You have my permission. Go dig". I'm an excellent mom....the prime example being when Indy was whining because Chris had left the room this morning to *gasp* take a shower and ohmygoddaddymightnotcomebackeverywherediddaddygomommyyouhavetogetupbecausedaddyleftus! this morning and I sat up and yelled "Indy! Shut the fuck up!".

Why St. Patty's Day Can Suck It.

2009-03-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

Shortly after we discovered I was allergic to artificial food coloring, I was in either Kindergarten or 1st grade and the teachers called us all in to the gym for a St. Patty's day party. As we walked in we saw a long fold out table set up with green decorations. At each place setting was a green sugar cookie with green icing and green sprinkles....And next to the plate?...A tall ice cold glass of green milk. Everyone took their place at the table and began to dive into their green treats. I...was handed a dixie cup (with cartoon characters on it) and pointed towards the water fountain.

The answer is.....(drumroll)

2009-03-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

Alrighty....for all you those waiting with bated breath...wringing your hands in sweaty anticipation of the answer to the math problem.....

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Just kidding. It's 10,990.

You'd be surprised how many people don't get this...

2009-03-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

So I guess I've lost a little bit of steam in the posting every day thing....I do apologize to my adoring fan. I guess there's just not much to say and I've been a little preoccupied with changes here at work and sorting out the dramatic lives of my friends. So I'll give you all a nice little game to play while I come up with something interesting to say. Sort of a "look at this shiny thing!" (*scurries away*)

Normally this little math problem comes with a spreadsheet that is password protected. The answer is the password. But that doesn't work very well on a blog so I'll just provide you with the answer later.

This is a 5th grade math problem. This is not a trick question. So the answer isn't "buses have no legs!" or "the front legs of a cats are called arms!".

There are 7 girls in a bus.

Each girl has 7 backpacks.
In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.

For every big cat there are 7 little cats.

Question: How many legs are there in the bus?

** The bus has no driver. (he jumped out just before the bus drove off a cliff. don't worry, the cats make it out just fine.)

Awkward Life Moment #16,278

2009-03-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

When you enter into a single person public bathroom only to find it stinky as all hell. But you have no choice, so you use it. Then when you exit there's someone waiting to go in right after you...and you just KNOW they think you funked the place up.

Yea. That IS awkward. Glad that's never happened to me!....at work....where I see that person all the time.

Weekend Warriors

2009-03-09T10:00:00.001-07:00

Work began this weekend on finally fixing up the living room. We had sort of burned ourselves out with the buying of a new house, moving in, fixing up the bedroom and bathroom and we had been using the last few weekends to entertain family and friends as well as just relax.

But I put an end to all that relaxing by having a minor freakout that we were going to spend the rest of eternity with mint colored walls accented by spackled holes and baseboards that weren't actually attached to the walls and insisted we get to work. We didn't get anywhere close to being done, but we made significant progress and I think one more weekend of working and I'll be able to post some nice before/after photos.

The upside is that this weekend gave me a good opportunity to work on my sanding skills.

Always wear your protective mask and safety ~~sun~~glasses

Pop! Pop!

2009-03-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

I don't have a terrible lot to report today...although I wanted to keep with my promise of posting every day. I came in to work today at 7am to make calls to South Africa and by 2:00 am hitting my 4pm slump. Ugh. Maybe it's time for a pop tart. Anyone that knows my slight obsession with high fiber foods will be able to understand how excited I was to find this!:

They taste just like regular pop tarts but have less fat and more fiber! My coworkers brought in cheesecake for a birthday and I passed it up in favor of one of these suckers...which doesn't say a TON since I don't really care for cheesecake, but damn I do love brown sugar pop tarts.

Botany Fail

2009-03-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

This is one of those kits where they provide you with the bulbs and soil and detailed two step instructions. It even says on the box "there is virtually no way to fuck this up". Nature really does all the work....and you should have a beautiful plant that looks like this:

...and yet I have proceeded to create this Frankenstein of a plant. I have no idea what I did.It started out in my kitchen, but I've moved it outside to see if that would help. It hasn't. It's not wilty or droopy. It's just growing like that...with little bits of dying sprinkled on top for an added kick to my maternal instinct. I should not be trusted to care for living things...namely children...I heard once that you don't even get two step instructions with them.

Heaven is a wagging tail.

2009-03-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

I was reading through Post Secret and came across this "secret". I don't really believe in a heaven or a hell, but this idea makes me want to.

To Pinch or Not to Pinch.

2009-03-03T10:49:00.001-08:00

Chris and I have made a somewhat controversial decision in terms of our doggy parenting. At approximately 90lbs of pure muscle and instinct Indy can be somewhat...ahem...of a challenge at times. We've worked so incredibly hard to train him and tame the supposedly domesticated beast within him and I think we've done a damn fine job of it. He knows a variety of party tricks ranging from "boxing" to "bowing" to a nice solid "high five". He waits for the OK to eat his food and if I tell him to leave it while he's eating, he'll stop and look at me for permission to continue. On walks he trots mostly right by my side trying hard to resist the urge to sniff and pee on every passing leaf, blade of grass or lamp post. The one thing we haven't seemed to conquer is his crazy behavior when encountering other dogs on walks. He used to be just fine.

When he was a puppy he was overly excited when he would see a dog, but with very little real FREAKING OUT involved. Last May(ish) when we had moved to the apartment Chris and I were taking him out for a walk when we were standing near a man with poor hygiene and his large german shepherd. The german shepherd took one look at me and Indy and started going NUTSO. No exaggeration this dog was incredibly aggressive and it was directed towards either me or Indy. Indy snapped. At the time we had just started using a choke collar on him and as he strained and snarled against the collar while Chris pulled back his eyes bulged and I saw a side of my sweet little shmoopy head that I had never really seen. The owner of the other dog mumbled something about that being typical for his dog and walked across the street. This was not typical for Indy. He was clearly provoked and being protective. I'm not 100% sure this is what triggered his recent behavior but after that incident I noticed a change. When we walk by a house and a dog starts barking and going crazy behind a fence Indy lunges and barks back.

If we pass a house with a passive quiet dog he's fine...he may be interested in playing but he'll stay cool. We've seen an in house trainer (who came to the house, stayed for 3 hours, did not take Indy out and then charged us $75. awesome. thanks.) and have taken him to group "Good Citizenship Training" class. He did really well and was even mostly fine with the other dog in the class, but we decided to postpone the final test until this spring.

So back to my point...we made the decision this weekend to try using the prong collar with Indy.

We started off with just the traditional leash and collar for him and had a lot of success with traditional training methods when he was a smaller puppy. Then as he started to pack on the pounds and became much stronger than me we decided to try a gentle leader. I highly recommend the gentle leader for people with strong dogs since it takes the power out of any pulling they do. We decided for a brief while to try the simple slip/choke chain collar but when Indy saw a squirrel or another dog he wanted to play with he could drag me around wherever he wanted...resulting in some pretty gnarly injuries and me crying like a child while Chris cleaned gravel out of my gaping wounds and scraped knees.

Needless to say I went back to the gentle leader.

Over the weekend a good friend of mine brought her dog and her husband over for a play date and recommended the prong collar. I've been opposed to this method for a long time, but everything else we've tried doesn't seem to get through to our mutt. He's responsive until he sees another dog or feels threatened. So far I have mixed feelings about it. The collar makes him MUCH more responsive and most of the time he just needs to hear the sound of the chain and will move back in line. Not to mention he's much calmer.

We had a big test last night as we were about 30 minutes into our 40 minute walk we passed a house with a guard dog who started barking his ass off the minute we walked by. Indy lunged and growled. I corrected him and he still pulled. I'm not afraid of me hurting him. I'm afraid of him hurting himself. The collar is just supposed to pinch their neck, but as he pulled against the collar and let out a whimper, my heart broke in two. But I didn't back down. I gave the collar a firm snap and told him to heel. He obeyed. He wasn't pulling as hard as he would with any other collar and I had much more control. His neck didn't even show a mark and with all that extra skin and fur he wasn't hurt, but I'm sure he felt it. I know the point is to simulate the firm "you better behave" snip of a mother, but when I heard that little guy whimper as he pulled I cringed and when he finally fell in line I scratched his neck and chest and showered him with praise.

I have confidence that this may be the key to communicating with him and correcting his behavior and we're using it correctly and conservatively, but I can't help but hold on to those feelings that a metal chain with prongs all over it is just cruel and I hope we're doing the right thing. Ick.

"I don't understand what all the fuss is about."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-03-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....OH HI!! Sorry....just a little sleepy today.

I decided over the weekend that I need to be better about posting on this blog. So...I came up with a new resolution. I'm going to post something every day....ok...I take that back. I'm going to TRY to post something every day. I make no promises as to what you'll see here...but there will be something. I debated whether I should make this a 40 days of lent thing and commit to it for that amount of time, but that seemed strange since I'm not religious and the only reason I even noticed it was lent was because someone brought in treats for Fat Tuesday. It is lent right?

So the point of this post is...

I haven't had a vacation in almost 10 years. The closest I've gotten is a long weekend in Yosemite with T and N, but I don't think that really counts since two of the days were spent mostly in the car driving to and fro. (yes. fro).

So I've been perusing airlines and various travel websites for ideas and prices on a nice long vacation. I'm thinking sometime in June and taking a whole week. The problem I have is that since I don't vacation and don't travel anywhere fun for work I have no idea where to go. Before I open the floor to suggestions here are the criteria:

*sun and beaches. somewhere tropical or tropicalish (not mexico. too dangerous right now, plus I'm not about to ruin this one vacation with a bad case of Montezuma's revenge).

*relaxing, but with activities if we so desire (ie snorkeling, caves, hiking, or just

sitting on a beach)

*affordable. I'm well aware that vacations are expensive (that's why i haven't taken any), but I'm looking for a good deal. Most bang for my buck here.

Ok. Here is where I ask the intranets for advice...where have you gone? where have you stayed? would you go again? was it worth it?

It's not mean if they like it.

2009-02-15T09:57:00.001-08:00

"Please send for help."

Do-It-Yerselfing....

2009-02-03T21:38:00.000-08:00

We've been doing a lot of work on the house since we got the keys and admittedly since moving in progress has slowed. Working during the day and coming home to dust is not fun, but we've been trying to keep at it and although things move slowly, we're getting there. Our first project was to replace the baseboards and door/window trim in the master bedroom. The old baseboards were beat up and falling off and the window trim was caked with most likely 64 years of paint. We pulled everything off and repaired holes in the walls. We've been doing all the work ourselves and I have to say...I'm incredibly impressed with Chris' ability to work a miter saw and my own skills using wood filler to hide nail holes. Take a look.

Before

(dog not included in the sale)

After

The next project was the bathroom. When we first saw the house we figured that within a month we would be able to completely gut the bathroom and redo it ourselves. Then as we started in on the master bedroom we got a big dose of reality. Not only the reality of how time consuming DIY home improvement is, but also how each trip to Lowe's was adding up. We've decided to wait on the complete gutting of the bathroom until early next year, but since the original tub was beige/pink and reeeally gross, the sink ugly, dirty and corroding and the paint color a lovely shade of neon salmon, something needed to be done. So I re-glazed the tub myself, Chris and his dad installed a new sink top and faucet, and we painted the vanity and walls. Survey says?

Next on the list is new baseboards, trim and paint in the living room and then a mini facelift on the kitchen until we can completely gut that sucker too. More photos to come I'm sure. Happy Wednesday!

Venting...and why group lunches are a "no go".

2009-01-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a going away lunch for a coworker that has left me beyond irritated. An expensive restaurant was suggested for the large lunch and I, of course, decided to join the group but kept my meal on the cheap end. I ordered a cup of soup, split an appetizer with a friend and kept with the free water. Other people ordered full entrees that average at this restaurant around $15-18. Other people ordered cokes...or MARGARITAS! It was only after the meal that I was told "everyone owes $17.50". I said, "are you joking????". I even tried to object, but was completely ignored. I am so pissed off. That extra $7 or $8 is a whole other meal...and it's even more than the money...it's the principle of the thing. This is a group where half of us are being told we are out of a job soon...and then this....sprung on me by people with job security who are probably paid a significant amount more than I am. Not to mention I paid more than I owed and other people paid less and had more. I AM SO LIVID. happy friday.

Happy Birthday, Captain Bones.

2009-01-27T10:39:00.001-08:00

Indy,

Today (as far as we know) you turn two. When we first met you, you weighed 25lbs...

...and today you clock in at almost 90 big ones...quite frankly we did not expect that!

You've come along way...but your incessant whining this morning and digging in my flower bed indicates we've still got plenty more puppyhood to come. Just please don't chew on the brand new dining table when it arrives....

Also....I don't apologize for this....just wait til next year. You'd make a terrific penguin...

The best Christmas present...

2008-12-31T20:35:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty remiss in posting lately...and while I don't have any specific reason I do think I find it harder to write about something while it's happening...and despite lots of activity what with all the holiday cheer and whatnot...I have been postponing posting about the one thing that's been occupying most of my time and brainwaves because of some strange feeling that putting it all into words will make it disappear in one big cosmic "j/k".

So here it is intranets... our very first house.

We got the keys today...on the very last day of the year...at 3:36pm and I don't think it's quite sunk in. Tomorrow will not only be the start of a new year, but also the start of all our projects....one room at a time.

Yay!!!

We are off to a New Years party....more on that debauchery and house goodies later.

Happy 2009 everyone!!!

Yes We Can!

2008-11-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

On this November 5th, 2008 I am prouder to be an American than I have been in the last 26 years of my life. Last night I was witness to history being made. America has spoken and has demanded change and I couldn't be happier.

As I watched McCain's concession speech I couldn't help feel a little sorry for him. I watched as the old McCain made a brief appearance. He was classy and eloquent. He spoke from his heart and his admiration and respect for Obama seemed genuine. It was the first time in many many months McCain seemed Presidential. If he had resisted the urge to pander to the extreme right of the Republican party and had shown this level of integrity during his campaign he may have actually had a chance of winning. Instead he stooped to the level of many of his supporters with mean spirited ads that played fast and loose with the truth and created only a more divided America. Those supporters were the ones booing when McCain mentioned his respect for Barack Obama. They booed and even in the shadow of defeat McCain couldn't bring himself to stand his ground and ask the crowd to be quite and show the President Elect the respect he very much deserves. And that, is a big reason McCain lost (big time) last night. But that's where my sympathies for that old coot end. He made a big mistake in Sarah Palin and I am glad this country dodged that bullet.

We are a better country today than we were yesterday and I firmly believe we've begun the healing process both Nationally and Globally. I didn't vote for Barack Obama just because of his tax plans or his ideas about universal healthcare, but also because he has plugged into what this country needs: hope and inspiration. It's time for a President that can bring tears to the eyes of jaded 20 somethings. It's time for a President that says things like "I will listen to you ESPECIALLY when we disagree". It's time for a President who can form coherent sentences and doesn't stumble clumsily through every day of his weasely little life....sorry...I digress.

Today is a bittersweet sweet day though. As happy as I am about being able to call Barack Obama our new President I am disappointed with the current results for Proposition 8. I wanted to keep this post positive and hopeful, but I can't help but feel deeply wounded that so many Californians voted for a constitutional change to EXCLUDE a minority. This is not what I would have wished, but we cannot lose hope that the remaining votes still to be tabulated will change the ultimate outcome or that the Supreme Court will one more time overturn what clearly is a discriminatory ban on gay marriage. One day we will all truly see each other as equals....one day...I don't think it will be within my lifetime, but I will do everything within my power to make sure my children will see that day. If this election proves anything it is that we are making progress....yes we can.

Barack and Roll!

2008-11-04T10:29:00.001-08:00

I realized last night as I was brushing my teeth (I do some of my best thinking while brushing...) that I had a knot in my stomach. A nervous, excited knot. I felt the same way I did when I was a kid on Christmas Eve. All the anticipation and potential. I believed when I was little that I would wake up in the morning and there would be a horse with a red bow on its head standing in our living room. I really firmly believed it was possible. I'd begged and pleaded for a horse and that night before Christmas my little body could barely contain the excitement at the mere possibility that my parents may have decided that it would be a good idea to bring a large farm animal into our small house in the middle of the suburbs. I felt the same way last night in anticipation of today's election. All the possibility. The possibility that something amazing could happen today. Except this time it's much more of a reality than a horse in my living room. Seriously, what would I have done with the horse? Ride him and love him and name him Artex, that's what.

I waiting for almost two hours this morning to vote and while it was slightly irritating (mostly just due to the poor organization of the polling place) I was excited to see so many people coming out to make their voice heard. Young, old, black, white, Prada and Kmart all coming together to make their mark on American history. I've never waited in line to vote. Not even for a few minutes...and like many other Americans I've seen on the news, I couldn't have been happier to do it. This election marks a change in American history....we will either elect our first African American President (fingers crossed) or the first female Vice President (lord save us). I am excited at the idea that the American people are about to stand up to the last 8 years and give Bush the collective middle finger. Let's get us out of Iraq, let's get our economy back on track and let's regain the respect of the world at large. The time has come.

Obama 08.

Oooh spppoooooky....

2008-11-01T13:50:00.001-07:00

Indy was Halloween's star at my office Friday when he showed up (I had no idea!) in his Indiana Jones costume!

"It belongs in a museum mommy!!!"

Chillin....chewing his bone...completely content in his ridiculous little outfit.

Speaking of ridiculous outfits....... we had a little office party on Friday in honor of the holiday.

Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?

The cool kids....clearly....

Well...that was halloween. We didn't do much....stayed home Friday night and went to Dan's halloween party on Saturday...I showed up in a McCain/Palin Tshirt, with a black eye and a backwards B on my face....if you don't get it you need to watch the news more.

Otherwise not a terrible lot going on here....more to come tomorrow I'm sure....

Happy Halloween and don't forget to vote!

Margaret and Helen

2008-10-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

This woman is wise beyond her years...and that's saying a lot...cuz she's 82.

http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/if-you-are-undecided-youre-not-paying-attention/

Please take the time to read. I agree with everything she says. In my short lifetime I have cultivated a healthy distrust of politicians and the U.S. government, but in the last 20 months I, myself, have been moved to tears at the idea of a new America....one that is centered around intelligence, listening, unity, hope....and change.

5 more days.

Such a good daddy...

2008-10-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

On Saturday afternoon Chris and I were getting ready to head out for a nice long walk with Indy. We'd saddled him up with his backpack full of water (to tire that little sucker out) and had arms full of bags of recycling to take downstairs. Since Chris was holding the Indy dog's leash I was carrying the heavier bags full of glass bottles. We got down to the dumpster room and realized the recycle bins were blocked off by trash dumpsters and as Chris stood inside the trash room and I stood in the doorway a single solitary Corona bottle slid off the top of my overly stuffed paper grocery bag and crashed to the ground shattering in thousands of little pieces. We just chucked the recycling in the dumpsters and assessed the damage. There was glass everywhere blocking the exit...There was a tiny little possible path for Indy and Chris to make their way out, but instead of trying to lead Indy through it Chris bent down and picked up our 90lb dog with a backpack full of water and carried him over the broken glass. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen...

My boys...at the AIDS Walk

The Zen of House Hunting

2008-10-13T17:17:00.001-07:00

Well....after spending a significant chunk of our Saturday in the car we successfully eliminated 16 of the 24 houses we drove by. We started off in Burbank and realized that really really please can we live in Burbank it's really totally cute!!! The neighborhoods are great...but like we already knew, the houses are smaller. The idea of only having 2 bedrooms doesn't exactly appeal to us, but at the same time we may just be willing to sacrifice for the kind of neighborhood that people conspire to commit murder to get into. We went and saw the castle house that I posted about and yes it is awesome. It's a pre-forclosure and is a screamin deal so the likelihood of us getting into it for below the asking price is slim to none. The neighborhood though is something out a dream. It's even near IKEA!!! for easy access to poorly built still overpriced oddly named home furnishings.

We now have 8 houses to go see with our realtor. I'm waffling between the feeling of competition to get to a house before anyone else and to just go with the flow...when "our" house is ready to be found...we will find it.....I must go to my happy place. Ommmmmmmm.......

Indy was entirely unimpressed by our adventures since every time we slowed down in front of a house he thought it was time to wrestle with dogs and eat grass. He was, however, rewarded for his good behavior with a pit stop at his old dog park. Where he promptly ran around like a chicken on cocaine, drank too much water and threw up his breakfast....awesome.

Shhh...we're hunting wabbits...err...houses.

2008-10-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks I have been adding systematically to a document I've created entitled "houses". Any time I saw a listing online that I liked I would add it. We now have 16+ houses on this list including one 1930's French Tudor style house in what we think is a cute part of Burbank. It's a pre-forclosure that hasn't been on the market for very long so I'm sure it'll get snatched up before we even get to it...but we'll go check it out. Look cute, right! Needs some TLC but has tons of character.

Back in March when we were going out regularly with our realtor we realized that 3/4 of the houses we liked online were immediately out of the running when we drove by and saw the neighborhood. So this time we'll drive by all of them first and then go with our realtor to only the ones we think are promising. I have just finished using the google maps to plot out our 1 hour and 46 minute course of house hunting for today. We'll throw Indy in the car with us and head out to do some house hunting....wish us luck!!

I'm easily annoyed by...

2008-10-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

being forced to endure the sounds of other people's mucous. Snorting, hacking and coughing. I think I'm overly sensitive to it, but it DRIVES. ME. CRAZY.

Was thinking about it and....

2008-10-08T17:03:00.001-07:00

I actually really like the end pieces of the bread.

Let them eat avocados...

2008-10-06T11:17:00.001-07:00

Sunday morning we headed to the farmer's market to pick up our week's worth of organic produce...ok, I really go for the free samples. Better than Costco. mmmmmm

As we headed into the tent with the avocados I began my inspection of the goods. I gave a few of the avocados a little squeeze to test for ripeness. We had planned on eating one of them that day and I wanted it at its peak. As I'm going about my business...thoroughly enjoying the vibe at the market...a guy maybe in his early 30's next to me picks up three avocados and mumbles, "after you've squeezed them all..." Thinking he meant the comment in a joking "oh you've touched all the produce!" kind of way I simply gave him a sideways glance and a confused half smile. I proceeded with my inspection of the produce. Finding all of the avocados to be rock hard I was getting a little bummed and then this same guy mumbles under his breath very passive aggressively that I was ruining all the avocados. I responded with "i don't want a rock hard avocado". He responded, getting obviously worked up "people set those out on their countertops where you put your finger and.....[trailing off]. I just said, "you don't know how hard I'm squeezing them and I'm not ruining them." As he started to walk off I looked at Chris and loud enough for this guy to hear said "What an asshole!". The guy turned around and mumbled something about not being an asshole, probably said something rude and then wandered off.

The entire exchange left me with ruffled feathers and a bad taste in my mouth. It also had me second guessing myself and my knowledge of how to select produce. I've gently pressed every single avocado I've ever purchased, have never ruined one and have always picked perfectly ripe avocados. We ultimately just grabbed a bag of six and went on our way...I noted that all of them in the bag were hard.

Later that day we went about making sandwiches. Mine was going to be a pita sandwich with hummus, cucumber, carrot and avocado all from the farmer's market. As I went to cut open that avocado....guess what? Rock hard, completely unripe and entirely unedible. I was understandably irritated and felt a strong desire to find this passive aggressive asshole with a lack of understanding of produce and make my point one more time.

And for those curious...I found this online.

"A ripe avocado is relatively firm, but will yield to gentle pressure when held in the palm of the hand and squeezed. Color cannot always be trusted to determine whether or not an avocado is ripe. Indeed, the squeeze test is the most accurate.
If you plan to use avocados immediately, buy ripe ones. But if you want to buy them a few days before you plan to use them, you can buy them when they are hard and do not yield to squeezing. Then just set them out in a cool place and wait for them to get ripe."

Five years down...

2008-10-01T14:29:00.001-07:00

I probably should have mentioned this back in June...but as of June 2008 I have lived in Los Angeles for five years. FIVE WHOLE YEARS!!! That's 19.23% of my life!! I did the math!! It wasn't hard...basic algebra...

My Los Angeles five year anniversary came and went and I'm pretty sure I didn't even notice. When I moved to LA I was 21 and my plan was to try LA out for 1 year and see where that landed me. I would like to be able to tell you what I planned to do after that first year but the truth is I never had any idea. All I knew is that I couldn't live my entire life in one area of the country. I couldn't go to elementary school in Sunnyvale, high school in San Jose and college in Santa Clara, settle down, never live anywhere else and still be happy. Even now I still think I'd be missing out if I never lived outside of California.

I can very vividly remember the day my parents, my brother and Linus helped me move in...I took one look around my apartment and at the downtown skyline from my balcony and thought, "I'm going to be here a lot longer than a year". Even as I had that thought I never considered I'd still be here five years down the road and even crazier that my life would be what it is now.

I've learned a lot in those five years. The most important thing is that everything I say won't happen or that I say I would NEVER do seems to happen. I'm not talking about when I said "I would never do heroin", I'm talking about when I said in college "I'll never move to LA" or "I'm not dating Chris". I now hesitate to say absolutes out loud and I fully expect the unexpected (wait...does that make it expected then?). The truth of the matter is that I tried to leave LA but couldn't pull the trigger. I almost moved to San Francisco and enrolled in culinary school (the baking and pastry program thank you very much). I had filled out the application, visited the school, spoken with the admissions rep... I just couldn't I can't even begin to wrap my brain around what my life would be like if I had made that decision. I'm not sure exactly what it is that has kept me here so long, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with a certain fella....and all the possibilities of what could happen here if I just gave it time. I can happily say that five years later I have some of the most amazing friends who I wouldn't trade for the world, have found a steady job working in the entertainment industry and have a really cute dog who, fingers crossed, will eventually calm the F down.

I have no title for this post.....

2008-09-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

Some of you may be aware of the dangers of bpa/bisphenol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisphenol_A) , which is in so many plastic bottles and can...well... be really bad for you and your unborn children...not that I have any....in case you were wondering. A few months ago Chris picked up a Sigg bottle which is made from aluminum and therefore has some fancy shmancy lining (the company itself describes the lining as "secret formula lining") and has benefits in its own right, but for my money still tasted and smelled a little....metallic. While at REI picking up a backpack for Indy....I found this guy... my new Klean Kanteen. It's made of stainless steel and is easy to klean (hehe), non toxic, sanitary and most of all tastes completely metal free. I love it and not only have I ditched my constant use of plastic bottles, but because I have less guilt...I'm drinking more water! Cheers all around!!!

Go get one. Save the environment.

And while you're at it...help some people who have HIV/AIDS.

October 19th will mark the 5th year I've participated in AIDS Walk Los Angeles. I'm sure most people reading this blog received an e mail from me about it already, but if this reaches a few people who didn't get that e mail then it's worth me writing about. This year I've decided to take Indy with us on the 10K walk...we'll see how he does around all the people and little dogs! He wants to play with them so bad!!! They...however...are freaked out by the excited 85lb monster pawing at them....

To sponsor me and help me reach my goal of $700 (we did it last year people!!) click here. https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=278287&lis=0&kntae278287=DF895004157D495B92C8BC8E775FA6F6

Every small donation helps and don't forget...it's tax deductible!!! Hurray!

Indy really wants you to sponsor him too! He's got his backpack and he's all ready for his first AIDS Walk!

From this delinquent blogger...

2008-09-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything to say. I've thought about writing a few different posts since my last (which was tragically too long ago) and always decided against writing in favor of giving my brain a rest.

To say that the last couple months have been busy would be a dramatic understatement. I finished up on the show I've spent the last year and a half working on and am now onto a new show. Every single second of the last two months has been spent with my brain active and running and I'm exhausted. I'm just about in the home stretch...at which point I think I'll be able to relax for maaaybe a few days and I'm so looking forward to this weekend.

I've thought many times in the last months about posting political blogs and have quite frankly found myself too angry to post how I really feel and actually too involved in watching the news and reading up on the day to day developments to keep up and post the latest on this piddly blog. However I will direct everyone to www.factcheck.org a non partisan political fact checker that investigates the claims both candidates or the media are making for accuracy.

I think that's all I have for now....but I promise to be better from now on....

SHOW US YOU'RE NUTS!

2008-07-31T17:25:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again folks...ok...so we do this every season...but it's still fun!! IT'S KICKBALL!!!!

Summer is the best time for kickball...I know what you're thinking...any time is a good time for kickball...and you would be correct sir, but the warm nights make for less pulled muscles and more refreshing post game beers! This past Monday kicked off the Season 5 Summer 2008 kickball chaos. This season our theme is Nuts and Honeys: Prison Love. Big props to Sam for coming up with the theme as well as the idea for our striped prison pants and the awesome felt prison bars that go up around the dugout. Check it out:

Just a little bbq and lot of strips of felt...that's all.

Very important top secret construction meeting.

The result. After lots and lots of hot gluing. That's a jail I would be proud to break out of!

She's in for aggravated assault. 25 to life.

First game of the season against Redrum. Tied 2-2.

These are the Nuts & Honeys.

Don't drop the soap.

Because I share good things...

2008-07-29T15:46:00.001-07:00

Peanut Butter: *tap tap*

Jess: *turns around* "Oh! Hi."

Peanut Butter: *shuffles feet* *looks down* "Ummm...hi."

Jess: "How've you been?"

Peanut Butter: "Ok. I'm doing well. Gettin by, you know....."

Jess: "Yea."

(pause)

Peanut Butter: "Haven't seen you around too much...."

Jess: "Yea....I've actually.....(pause)....I've been seeing someone new."

Peanut Butter: "oh! oh really!oh! well that's really great! Congratulations!"

Jess: "Yea...things are going really well....you should meet him sometime...I mean...unless you don't want to"

Peanut Butter: "No no! uuuhh.....yea....uhh....sure....we could do that. What's his name?"

Jess: "PB2".

Peanut Butter: "ouch".

Jess: "I know. I'm sorry.........(pause).....this is kinda weird...I think I should go."

Peanut Butter: *sniff* "Yea...me too...I....have to....y'know...be somewhere."

Jess: "Ok. Maybe I'll see you soon?"

Peanut Butter: "I don't know....maybe".

Powdered peanut butter, my friends. The oil is squeezed out of roasted peanuts and what you're left with is the nutty powder that smells...well...slightly nutty. Just add water and you've got yourself low fat peanut butter!!! The flavor is not as intense, but it is a really great substitute and I have to send a big shout out to Sam for turning me on to this. I do, also have to admit that I mix in a teensy bit of crunchy real peanut butter for a more solid PB & J. I just ate some on an organic brown rice cake. Take your judgement somewhere else. I heart my food.

Next time I'll tell you about the Organic Nitrate Free Grass Fed Beef Hot Dogs I discovered. Oh sweet baby jesus in a onesie they're the best tasting hot dogs ever. Tastes like real meat! That wasn't abused! Happy cows = tasty BBQ!

Links you must know about:

http://www.bellplantation.com
http://www.applegatefarms.com

Why it's important to think before you speak...

2008-07-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Me (to Indy): Stop being an asshole.

Chris (in Indy's voice): You're the one with the asshole.

Me (to Indy): That's right. We both have assholes. Yours is under your tail. Mine is brown.....and has fur. (pause.....pause).....That didn't come out right.

See...cuz Indy is BROWN! And he HAS FUR!!! Siiiigh....it made sense in my head.

Weekend In Review

2008-07-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

Pop Quiz

This weekend I:

a.) yelled at a small child
b.) showed up dramatically overdressed to a party

Answer:
c.) both a & b
(did I not mention that was an option?)

In August I will be attending my friend Amy's wedding and while I'm not in the wedding party I have been asked (along with 5 other high school friends) to wear any shade of green. I've had a hell of time finding a green dress that won't set me back the GDP of a small country so at the suggestion of my good friend Samantha Kraft we headed downtown bright and early (ok, it was 11:00) to check out the array of bridesmaid dress/quinceanera shops in the fashion district. When we arrived the streets were already overflowing with bargain hunters and it was beginning to get hot. The bacon wrapped hot dog carts had been pulled out and the streets smelled like grease and garbage. After over two hours of disappointment (and after Sam stepped in a wet pile of trash) we decided it was time to go and started walking towards the car. A young girl (maybe 7 years old, give or take) walked toward me and as she finished eating whatever deep fried lunch item she had in her hand I watched as she took the many layers of paper and leftover food, crumbled it into a ball and tossed it into the gutter of the street. Not 10 feet from a trashcan. She was looking at me the whole time. I didn't even think and said sternly, "Pick it up!". She didn't. To which I responded, "You little brat!". I said it loud. I was livid. Aside from the time I saw someone throw a beer can out of their window at a freeway offramp I have never really witnessed this kind of blatant littering. I like to assume that the massive amounts of trash that collect on freeway shoulders and city gutters ends up their accidentally. That no one would INTENTIONALLY toss their garbage anywhere but the proper trash receptacle. I guess I was wrong. It's even more disheartening that it's a kid. A stupid little shit kid. This world is not only being destroyed by wealthy money hungry oil men who want to destroy the only remaining undeveloped wilderness this world has with drills, but also by little kids whose ignorant parents don't care enough to teach her anything about respect. God, it's depressing when I start thinking about it. This is why I hate downtown LA. It's dirty, smelly and chaulk full of people who are just trying to get through the day and not thinking about a world outside their own. So we headed back to the valley where it was even hotter, and had lunch with Chris. It was nice. I had the hawaiian chicken sandwich. I'm on a pineapple kick right now. But I digress.

That night we had dinner with friends and saw Dark Knight at an IMAX theater. It was everything I hoped it would be. Anyone that says Heath Ledger is only being talked about for an Oscar nod because he's no longer with us can suck an egg. He's brilliant in this movie and it is a damn shame this was his last performance.

After the movie (yes, it was a late night for us) we headed home to change for Karen's birthday extravaganza. As Karen is want to do she gave the party a theme. This time it was "you'll never wear that in this town again". Each guest was supposed to show up in something that they'll never wear again. Karen wore a bridesmaid's dress, Chris wore leather pants (awesome), Mike wore his 'house shirt' that his girlfriend won't let him wear in public and I wore my glittery gold full length gown that I bought for a fraternity formal in college. I love this dress. It's so outdated and amazingly gaudy and despite leaving the house feeling incredibly insecure as to whether anyone else at the party would be dressed up, I rocked my glitter dress. Before we left I texted Karen, "am I going to feel silly if I wear this dress?". Her response, "no. we need more people like you". That should have tipped me off. I showed up to what was basically a backyard party full of people in jeans and t shirts. I immediately felt awkward...so I poured myself a drink. There I stood in the backyard of someone's house in a full length formal gown surrounded by folks in jeans and t shirts, holding my red party cup. At some point I just gave in to the fact that while I felt out of place, wearing a full length gold dress covered in glitter to a party is a fantastic conversation piece. I felt less awkward...partly due to vodka soaked watermelon (mmmm) and partly due to the fact that multiple girls came up to me at some point and said, " I totally have that dress in (fill in color)!!! I wore it to my Senior prom!". Awesome. I like to think that I made everyone else feel underdressed.

Happy Birthday Honey Apple!

OH! You wanted to see the full length dress? Well allow me to present you with what I look like when I'm not ready for a photo. Enjoy.

I might regret this in the morning...

2008-07-18T17:12:00.001-07:00

Wow. Ok. So I'm a little afraid to put this out there for all of the internets to see...but I have a confession to make and I have a feeling I won't be alone...so I'm just going to go ahead and say it.......

I think I have a tiny little baby crush on Josh Groban.

*cringe*

Are you done judging me yet?

I know. You all thought I was so cool, what with my deep love for Peter Cetera and all, but I think you're going to have to agree with me on a couple things. And then you might disagree with me on a few others.

First of all. Regardless of your taste in music you have to admit that damn that boy has an amazing voice. Adult contemporary pop is not exactly my kind of thing but I could listen to that kid's velvety smooth crooning for more than just one song...I think.

Second of all his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's "I'm F***ing Ben Affleck" revenge video (in response to Sarah Silverman's "I"m F***ing Matt Damon" video for those of you who live under a rock) was genius and wins him major cool points in my book for not taking himself so seriously.

So I happen to stumble across his video for "You Raise Me Up" (I refuse to talk about exactly how I "stumbled" across it) and figured that while I worked I would listen to the song...but I totally got sucked in to this video for the following reasons:

1.) Turns out Josh Groban is hot. Like a goofier Christian Bale if you will. I almost think his toddler boy locks work for him.
2.) Um, hello? Gospel choir backup? Works like a charm every time!
3.) The struggling ballerina finally mastering the lift! What an inspiration! Get it? YOU LIFT ME UP! It's both literal and metaphorical!

Here's the video for you ladies to drool over...er...watch.

(I know...I'm confused why he's sleeping on that couch too! But doesn't he look cuddly in his hooded sweatshirt?!)

I churrdon't want those churros.

2008-07-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

Here you go....check out the reviews for Xooro (see previous post). http://www.yelp.com/biz/xooro-santa-monica

I guess there's still a market for "Churronimo!". Now don't any of you go stealing my idea. Especially the name...the name is the best part.

Sometimes it's just so hard...

2008-07-14T16:44:00.001-07:00

I haven't uploaded any of the three pictures I took from our weekend getaway to San Diego just yet...so I'll hold off on blogging about how awesome it was for the time being.....instead I'd like to share a conversation I just had with my friend Sam over IM.

My brother Dan posted on his blog a conversation with Linus and tried to get us all to see how frustrating a conversation with Linus can be, but after reading that conversation I just saw how frustrating talking to either Dan or Linus is. So now I will top his post...and show you fine people what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

JESS: mmm menchies

SAM: mun chi chis?

JESS: menchies. have you never gone to menchies?
SAM: no

JESS: well my dear

SAM: what is this you speak of?

JESS: http://www.menchiesyogurt.com/
it's frozen yogurt
and they have 10 rotating flavors and it's self serve
and so you get your yogurt
and you choose your toppings and do it all yourself
then you pay by the weight
pretty great

SAM: what is it with you and rotating foods?

JESS: what do you mean?
i like other rotating foods?

SAM: http://www.xooro.com/
clikc on products then fritters

JESS: oh no. i know. i posted that
but i'm talking about the flavors are constantly changing!

SAM: watch the fritter rotate

JESS: iknow!
haha

SAM: what?
constantly changing?

JESS: menchies. rotating flavors. as in...they are constantly changing the flavors
are you high?
you're high aren't you?

SAM: hahaha
no

JESS: i don't believe you

SAM: i still don't get it

JESS: what don't you get?

SAM: why would they do that?

JESS: so you have variety
of frozen yogurt flavors

SAM: ahhh
i was thinking it was this machine

JESS: oh sweet jesus sam
hahaha

SAM: that rotated flavors or something
and then you said you could pick

JESS: hahahahaha
haa
oh man
i'm crying

SAM: but i was confused as to how if all the flovors were changing
hahaha
ahhhh
good times

JESS: too good
tooo good

SAM: i will be visiting there soon
it is almost a full moon and i gather i will want something sweet

Churrofftoagoodstart.

2008-07-11T09:24:00.001-07:00

Back in May, during our annual pilgrimage to Disneyland in honor of Mother's Day, my family and I were standing in a two hour line for the "Finding Nemo" ride (overrated. bring back the yellow submarine!) and having a discussion about the vast superiority of Brazilian churros over the americanized version they sell at amusement parks. Now, while it's hard to go wrong with fried dough covered in cinnamon sugar, Brazilian churros take the entire category up a few notches by taking the empty center hole and filling it with....wait for it...condensed milk custardy goodness.

I think I just drooled on my keyboard.

So while waiting in line we were talking about our new family business venture of gourmet varieties of churros. The American public would go CRAZY for these things. All different flavors! Sweet! Savory! Delivery! Churros at your doorstep!!! GENIUS!!!!! I even came up with the brilliant name for the family business. Are you ready? You might not be ready. It's pretty awesome. "Churronimo!" Say it out loud. I just blew your mind, huh? Now...it's not like I've been working late on a business plan and I'm not necessarily accusing Disney of planting spies within their lines. Ok. Yes I am. That whole place is bugged, man. Seriously. I open my Daily Candy email this morning to find.....this:

www.xooro.com. I'm not sure if I'm going to sue or not, but I might write a strongly worded letter to Disney. That letter may or may not be covered in cinnamon sugar, custard and chocolate icing.....drooooool.

Hello. My name is Jessica and I have a drinking problem.

2008-07-10T17:09:00.001-07:00

So...it's 5:09pm....and I'm work avoiding by checking what I could redeem my 20,000+ american express rewards points that it has taken faaar too long for me to accrue despite overspending consistently...and I go to take a sip of water from the cup that's sitting by my computer...."mmm this is going to be refreshing", I think....just as I proceed to pour the rest of the glass down my shirt....not just on my shirt. IN/DOWN my shirt. Not a drop made it into my mouth.

Awesome.

Daily Thought... Chiropractors

2008-07-08T16:18:00.001-07:00

I keep waffling back and forth as to whether I feel better or worse after visiting the chiropractor. Yesterday was my fourth visit out of the six that are approved by my insurance. I pretty seriously tweaked my neck while in Kansas City over this fourth of July weekend (pictures and stories to come once I steal them from Chris..the pictures..not the stories...those will be mine) and am starting to feel that I've had more aches and pains since my first visit almost 4 weeks ago than I did before going...coincidence? or is my body really just fighting the adjustments. Hmmm.....

That's my problem too!

Daily Thought....must think of new title for daily thought posts....this is getting redundant already.

2008-07-01T15:48:00.001-07:00

Trader Joe's non fat Greek style blueberry yogurt with sliced up bananas is everything I hoped it would be and more. It is the bright shiny beacon of happiness in an otherwise completely mind numbing day.

Daily Thought

2008-06-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Why is it that english muffins only taste good when toasted? When not toasted it's just regular bread, right? I think not! All other breads taste delicious both right out of the bag as well as after a trip in my broiler (we really need a toaster oven). So...what is UP with english muffins!!?!?!